7496 results found

1. Nika

   This 2020 movie - currently on Amazon - is just something...else? 🤣 It’s about a woman that appears to be in her mid-twenties that is an “aging model” who has to turn to stripping and then escorting so that she can pay off the credit card debt she acquired paying for “everything” for her and her boyfriend. Said boyfriend leaves her within the first 5-10 minutes during some sort of an attempt at a montage. The flashbacks and her dreams had me rolling! It seems that she was in some sort of series of singing/dance/piano classes with a 10, 12, 15, and 17 year old. When each of her teachers basically tell her that she is horrible in turn, she determinedly states that she’s going to be a model instead! The preposterousness of the entire movie and just the random things like, why is she walking along the LA Streets for possibly hours but then she has a car... And if she has a plush fur coat - that she wears out walking when others are in tank tops - why can’t she sell that to pay her rent?

   This 2020 movie - currently on Amazon - is just something...else? 🤣 It’s about a woman that appears to be in her mid-twenties that is an “aging model” who has to turn to stripping and then escorting so that she can pay off the credit card debt she acquired paying for “everything” for her and her boyfriend. Said boyfriend leaves her within the first 5-10 minutes during some sort of an attempt at a montage. The flashbacks and her dreams had me rolling! It seems that she was in some sort of series of singing/dance/piano classes with a 10, 12,… more

   18 votes

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2. Bering Sea Beast (2013) AKA **** Sea Vampires!

   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3139338/reference
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VolzZBtzg8c

   5 votes

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3. The Mummy Rebirth (2019)

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJYcW8GibxM
   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10378798/reference

   14 votes

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4. The Nutcracker (1993 George Balanchine's with Macaulay Culkin)

   This movie should be considered because I feel there is plenty of opportunity for Riffs (like gender roles and cutting a crown off a dead rat and putting it on a girl's head and we're just cool with that??), Macaulay being in it also adds to the opportunities for riffs, and there is not a lot of talking in the movie so funny commentary would be an awesome addition. Thanks for considering.

   20 votes

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5. A Christmas Carol: Scrooge's Ghostly Tale (2006)

   Scrooge is an anthropomorphized skunk. IT STINKS!
   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2627630/reference
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQAPuqxHPJY

   4 votes

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6. A Holiday Boyfriend

   The entire movie is basically a shower conversation, where the writer came up with a series of 50something-single women-in-SoCal-problems and then came up with the best way to rhetorically own each conflict. Oh and one of the main character friends dresses up like Sailor Moon in public. Watch A Holiday Boyfriend with a box of tissues and a bottle of moscato.

   8 votes

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7. Tick Tick

   Also known as “A Friend to Die For” The movie was made in 2000. It treats it’s audience as if we have no ability to piece together cause and effect (if we see a character dramatically emerge from a closet the movie gives us a flashback to show character getting in said closet.

   It also has John Ratzenberger as the worlds least stealthy private eye.

   9 votes

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8. Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

   First off, the premise of this movie is that a fracking accident unleashes ancient super-sharks from beneath the Earth's crust into the swamps of Arkansas. I think that speaks for itself.

   Secondly, the "action" begins when a group of inmates from the local women's prison are dragged into the swamp in a van with a lopsided sticker slapped on to give the barest attempt at making it look like a proper state vehicle to dig up tree stumps in shorts and white tank tops, and the shocker is, the only member of the cast to have a ***** background is not one of the women! Gore ensues, sharks can travel on land as well as in water 6 inches deep with the reliability of Autobots flying in G1, the side plot of the super-serious investigator and her enthusiastic assistant somehow makes the campy badness of the main story stand out even more, and by the end, the one prisoner who we wanted to stay alive does, but embraces a "reward" that kind of will ruin her entire life, as we're supposed to cheer.

   And thirdly, seriously, this movie takes itself seriously. Like, it wants to be a serious movie, not a campy parody of shark-centric bad movies. The title suggests it knows it's a joke, but this ****** thinks it's legit.

   Please, observe this trailer. Currently, the movie is free to watch on Amazon Prime. Give it a go. You'll be a changed person.

   https://www.imdb.com/video/vi2756492313?ref_=tt_pv_vi_aiv_1

   First off, the premise of this movie is that a fracking accident unleashes ancient super-sharks from beneath the Earth's crust into the swamps of Arkansas. I think that speaks for itself.

   Secondly, the "action" begins when a group of inmates from the local women's prison are dragged into the swamp in a van with a lopsided sticker slapped on to give the barest attempt at making it look like a proper state vehicle to dig up tree stumps in shorts and white tank tops, and the shocker is, the only member of the cast to have a ***** background is… more

   5 votes

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9. Electra (1996)

   The Skinemax version of Captain America, basically. The Queen of Softcore, Shannon Tweed as a leather-clad super-villianess hot for
   the "super-serum" of oily bohunk of a stepson. Oh did I mention that "serum" can be transmitted sexually?

   Seriously, with a batshit premise like THAT, how could you lose?

   https://unobtainium13.com/2020/05/08/cinemax-friday-electra-1996-directed-by-julian-grant/

   https://youtu.be/MldQP-KBQWc

   7 votes

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10. Queen Crab

    From the director of Battle for the Lost Planet and Arachnia, so you know it's great! A girl is saved from... something, I forget, by her giant pet crab and rides him away like a horse. Crab girls are way cooler than horse girls! And it all takes place in Crabbe County, GET IT?

    28 votes

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11. Deadtime Stories

    1986 Horror/Slasher

    25 votes

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12. The Cyclops (1957) by Bert I. Gordon

    This is the only one of the classic 50’s Bert I pictures left unriffed, and I say, we can't let that stand. Here's the trailer:
    https://youtu.be/GKzrALaaOOE

    As any MSTie can plainly see, it uses the exact same stock footage as 'King Dinosaur' and the same terrible front-projection techniques as 'The Amazing Colossal Man' and 'War of the Colossal Beast,' only somehow even crappier. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only reason they didn’t use it during the original run of MST3K was because they were all sick and tired of making fun of the same stupid iguana with a fin glued to his back.

    I'd love to see this one riffed, but it may fall under the same umbrella as 'The Amazing Colossal Man' and 'War of the Colossal Beast,' where the film rights passed to Jack Nicholson's widow (his dad was one half of American International Pictures) who is fiercely protective of her IP rights has refused to allow Shout to release any of the MST3K episodes. (Even attempting to sue them for using still images in some of their bonus features.)

    This is the only one of the classic 50’s Bert I pictures left unriffed, and I say, we can't let that stand. Here's the trailer:
    https://youtu.be/GKzrALaaOOE

    As any MSTie can plainly see, it uses the exact same stock footage as 'King Dinosaur' and the same terrible front-projection techniques as 'The Amazing Colossal Man' and 'War of the Colossal Beast,' only somehow even crappier. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only reason they didn’t use it during the original run of MST3K was because they were all sick and tired of making fun of the same stupid iguana with a fin… more

    35 votes

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13. A Christmas Tail

    A boy gets turned into a dog after mispronouncing a wish to a shooting star following some questionable advice from a hobo named "the professor." That line is "Wishing star, I want...ah! A bee!...a dog for christmas," and the writing doesn't get much better from there! The plot follows the boy turned dog's hijinks, and we meet characters like the old women who thinks the dog's her relative reincarnated, the neighbors who drive 100 miles to find a christmas tree and take the dog along, and a fight between a nobel mountain lion and a bear... with reaction shots of a dog nowhere near that national geographic stock footage.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0331997/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

    A boy gets turned into a dog after mispronouncing a wish to a shooting star following some questionable advice from a hobo named "the professor." That line is "Wishing star, I want...ah! A bee!...a dog for christmas," and the writing doesn't get much better from there! The plot follows the boy turned dog's hijinks, and we meet characters like the old women who thinks the dog's her relative reincarnated, the neighbors who drive 100 miles to find a christmas tree and take the dog along, and a fight between a nobel mountain lion and a bear... with reaction shots of… more

    4 votes

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14. The Flying Serpent (1946)

    From the same great minds that brought you 'Mad Monster,' 'I Accuse My Parents' and 'Lost Continent' comes... basically a complete rehash of the far more popular 1940 Bela Lugosi film 'Devil Bat,' minus the star power of Bela Lugosi.

    It’s got all the hallmarks of classic MST3K fodder, in that it’s dull, grey, and features lots of dramatic “action” sequences of middle-aged white guys driving well below the speed limit or shuffling slowly away from a hideous flapping monster that looks remarkably like a soiled dish rag that somebody taped Johnny Depp’s hat to.

    It’s also in the public domain, though I don’t know if anybody’s ever bothered to go back and clean up the print, which might be a problem. If you can find a nice enough transfer it'd be a good one for Mary Jo and Bridget to riff on, since they seen to enjoy doing the old black and white stuff from the 40's and 50's.

    From the same great minds that brought you 'Mad Monster,' 'I Accuse My Parents' and 'Lost Continent' comes... basically a complete rehash of the far more popular 1940 Bela Lugosi film 'Devil Bat,' minus the star power of Bela Lugosi.

    It’s got all the hallmarks of classic MST3K fodder, in that it’s dull, grey, and features lots of dramatic “action” sequences of middle-aged white guys driving well below the speed limit or shuffling slowly away from a hideous flapping monster that looks remarkably like a soiled dish rag that somebody taped Johnny Depp’s hat to.

    It’s also in the public… more

    34 votes

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15. Phantom from Space (1953) (Colorized Legend Pictures version)

    This movie is in the public domain, and you can find a copy on Archive.org (https://archive.org/details/PHANTOMFROMSPACEVideoQualityUpgrade) but Legend have released a very nice cleaned-up colorized print (you can see the trailer here: https://youtu.be/Fngo-VccDZo), so there's absolutely no reason not to riff that version if you can get it.

    This movie is the work of W. Lee Wilder, who also brought us the Peter Graves classic 'Killers From Space' and involves an "invisible" alien who crashes his spaceship on Earth and then spends most of the movie wandering around naked in Griffith Observatory floating items around on strings. The alien can't breath our atmosphere (I hear you, buddy) so even though he's invisible, he wheezes like Darth Vader when he's not wearing his space suit, which looks like someone put the Robot Monster costume on backwards.
    You'll thrill at the most nondescript and interchangeable cast since 'Radar Secret Service,' and almost feel sorry for the poor asthmatic alien who mainly just wants to get the hell out of L.A. and find some pants.

    This movie is in the public domain, and you can find a copy on Archive.org (https://archive.org/details/PHANTOMFROMSPACEVideoQualityUpgrade) but Legend have released a very nice cleaned-up colorized print (you can see the trailer here: https://youtu.be/Fngo-VccDZo), so there's absolutely no reason not to riff that version if you can get it.

    This movie is the work of W. Lee Wilder, who also brought us the Peter Graves classic 'Killers From Space' and involves an "invisible" alien who crashes his spaceship on Earth and then spends most of the movie wandering around naked in Griffith Observatory floating items around on strings.… more

    23 votes

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16. Puss in Boots (1961) K. Gordon Murray children's matinee nightmare classic

    Perhaps you've heard of a fellow by the name of K. Gordon Murray who brought you a little cinematic gem called Santa Claus (and also 'Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy' and the three shorts that make up 'Santa's Village of Madness')?
    Well, Puss in Boots is another batsh*t insane childrens' movie he imported from Mexico, recut and redubbed by Murray with random musical numbers filmed at Pirate's World or wherever the Santa's Village stuff was shot tacked on to pad the runtime. This is easily the craziest thing he's imported next to Santa Claus vs. The Devil. Just take a look at the trailer, I'll wait...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri6tN9bjszs

    Unfortunately, while the original uncut versions of these films Murray imported from Mexico and Germany are pretty easy to come by, the American dubbed versions are extremely rare because the IRS seized all his pictures due to tax evasion and he died of a heart attack before he and his family could sue to get them back. I don't actually know how that works in terms of copyright, but I believe since Santa Claus ended up in the public domain, his other films probably are too.

    The original prints of Murray's films are effectively gone, and the company that held the 16mm versions that were used to release a few of his pictures on VHS during the mid 90's (round about the time MST3K picked up Santa Claus) went bankrupt in the early 2000's and liquidated their entire inventory to the public.

    Very rarely, a transfer from one of these 16mm prints shows up and I actually happen to have a copies of two of them. The Golden Goose (1969) and Puss In Boots (1961). The Golden Goose has already been posted to archive.org (https://archive.org/details/the-golden-goose-1969), but my copy of Puss In Boots has some extremely bizarre audio issues that I want to attempt to clean up prior to posting.
    If I do manage to get it fixed or if you find a better copy through other sources, it's well worth riffing.

    Perhaps you've heard of a fellow by the name of K. Gordon Murray who brought you a little cinematic gem called Santa Claus (and also 'Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy' and the three shorts that make up 'Santa's Village of Madness')?
    Well, Puss in Boots is another batsh*t insane childrens' movie he imported from Mexico, recut and redubbed by Murray with random musical numbers filmed at Pirate's World or wherever the Santa's Village stuff was shot tacked on to pad the runtime. This is easily the craziest thing he's imported next to Santa Claus vs. The Devil. Just take a… more

    30 votes

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17. The Devil's Eight (starring Ross Hagan)

    This is the movie Ross Hagan made back to back with 'Sidehackers' (aka. Five The Hard Way). It's a shameless rip-off of The Dirty Dozen, where a federal agent tasked with taking down a moonshiner (who is apparently the head of a moonshine criminal empire that can afford to pay the authorities to look the other way and whack any **** federal agent he pleases without any fear of repercussion) but can't stop getting his trained federal officers killed. So he gets the brilliant idea of press-ganging a local chain gang into helping him stop this evil moonshiner because.... uhh.... "they know the territory" and I guess the only thing that can stop a dumb Southern cracker is an even dumber Southern cracker?

    This movie contains almost as much stupid as Sidehackers and The Hellcats, but is thankfully less rapey.

    Copyright Status is unknown on this one, but I suspect it's either public domain or comparatively cheap since you can watch the entire movie free on Amazon Prime:
    https://www.amazon.com/Devils-Eight-Christopher-George/dp/B009O5QVCS

    This is the movie Ross Hagan made back to back with 'Sidehackers' (aka. Five The Hard Way). It's a shameless rip-off of The Dirty Dozen, where a federal agent tasked with taking down a moonshiner (who is apparently the head of a moonshine criminal empire that can afford to pay the authorities to look the other way and whack any **** federal agent he pleases without any fear of repercussion) but can't stop getting his trained federal officers killed. So he gets the brilliant idea of press-ganging a local chain gang into helping him stop this evil moonshiner because.... uhh....… more

    9 votes

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18. Dimension 5

    I love it when Rifftrax does a goofy 60's spy flick, and the only thing better than a goofy 60’s spy flick, is a goofy 60’s spy flick that’s also a time travel espionage thriller starring a ton of guest actors from Star Trek and Odd Job from Goldfinger.

    This movie has just the right amount of cheese, as it tries desperately to pass itself off as a sci-fi James Bond on the same budget as an episode of Time Tunnel.

    Comparatively, it’s not even that terrible a movie. It actually reminds me a bit of the Gary Seven episode of Star Trek, and is definitely a cut above 'The Human Duplicators' and 'Women of the Prehistoric Planet,' which were also written by the same guy. I’d say it falls nicely into that category of films that would be just barely watchable on it's own, but infinitely better when enjoyed in the company of some professional jokes from the guys at Rifftrax.

    You can watch the trailer here: https://youtu.be/_ZkkaQeIWAI

    I love it when Rifftrax does a goofy 60's spy flick, and the only thing better than a goofy 60’s spy flick, is a goofy 60’s spy flick that’s also a time travel espionage thriller starring a ton of guest actors from Star Trek and Odd Job from Goldfinger.

    This movie has just the right amount of cheese, as it tries desperately to pass itself off as a sci-fi James Bond on the same budget as an episode of Time Tunnel.

    Comparatively, it’s not even that terrible a movie. It actually reminds me a bit of the Gary Seven episode… more

    21 votes

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19. Charlie Chan in the Secret Service
    3 votes

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20. Clarence (1990 film)

    It is a sequel to the 1946 film It's a Wonderful Life (starring Robert Carradine as Clarence)

    23 votes

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