7496 results found

1. In the Line of Duty: Blaze of Glory

   • The famous chin of horror icon Bruce Campbell is often covered by a fake beard.
   • Lori Loughlin plays a bad girl with bipolar disorder.
   • Loughlin herself wears a fake beard at one point.
   • Portland, Oregon is passed off as Chicago, Illinois.

   https://www.allmovie.com/movie/in-the-line-of-duty-blaze-of-glory-v173969

   20 votes

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2. Meltdown (2009)

   A 2009 action movie shot so badly it looks like it came from 1999. Writer, director, and star Christopher J Martin (and yes this is his only movie he's ever been involved with) brings an action masterpiece that co-stars Robert Z'Dar and Joe Estevez. Summary according to the director:
   "Meltdown is a action/adventure film about a FBI agent who goes deep undercover to bring down a crime syndicate. When his cover is blown the mob and FBI want him dead. His only hope of survival is a female agent who is willing to break the rules to help save his life. Out numbered and out gunned it is a deadly fight to the finish."
   —Christopher J. Martin
   Pretty much the low budget version of The Departed. Movie features all of the suspense sound effects found in iMovie, a cast that also doubled as the production team, and Robert Z'Dar on piano. Just an all around fun time.
   IMDB: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1637641/
   Full Movie on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BX4G7Nrzl1s

   A 2009 action movie shot so badly it looks like it came from 1999. Writer, director, and star Christopher J Martin (and yes this is his only movie he's ever been involved with) brings an action masterpiece that co-stars Robert Z'Dar and Joe Estevez. Summary according to the director:
   "Meltdown is a action/adventure film about a FBI agent who goes deep undercover to bring down a crime syndicate. When his cover is blown the mob and FBI want him dead. His only hope of survival is a female agent who is willing to break the rules to help save his… more

   16 votes

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3. Scorpion (1986)

   Gentlemen, let me introduce to you Scorpion, the first and only movie starring former karate champion Tonny Tulleners, who's major claim to fame is being the guy who consistently kicked Chuck Norris' ass in several tournaments back in the day, writing a popular 'Beginning Karate' book that you could order by mail from the back of Boy's Life, and for having the best porn star/Larry Csonka mustache in the martial arts community.

   You can watch the entire movie in full here:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78SI8hNUEEE

   And according to RetroFilm Vault, it's in the Public Domain, though I haven't seen it listed on Archive.org or any of the other usual public domain sites.

   There's a reason Chuck's film career took off and Tonny's stalled after just one movie, which will become apparent the moment you see his soft-spoken highly nuanced non-performance as special agent "Steve Woods", who is also occasionally called "Scorpion" when they remember they need to shoehorn it in to justify the bad-ass video cover. Apparently, there's some union rule where every single one of these karate cop movies has to begin with the guy being sent into a hostage situation naked, in his underwear, or in Tonny's case, wearing extremely upsetting tiny white short shorts, to convince the gun-toting terrorists that he's not carrying any concealed weapons or dignity.

   The movie then drifts into even more tried and true action movie format, when Tonny's best friend and partner (and 3rd grade level amateur recorder player) is murdered trying to protect an important government witness who looks remarkably like a Cuban Robert Z'Dar, forcing "Scorpion" to stop playing by the rules and uncover a hidden ring of corruption (well... not that well hidden) and avenge his partner's death by punching a lot of people in the face. But first, we get a meaningful flashback to the time when he and his buddy were 6 and tried really really hard to vandalize a statue in the park by pushing it over. What follows is an extremely tepid game of Ambien Cat vs. Zoloft Mouse, culminating in the most lackluster helicopter vs. boat chase since Mitchell, and you guessed it, punching the final bad guy in the face. (All of the fight scenes in this movie suck. They obviously didn't hire any martial artists besides Tonny, or waste any time or money on fight choreography. All the bad guys attempt a few halfhearted blocks then immediately get taken down in the space of about 10 seconds.) But if you're worried about the film not having any dramatic payoff, you'll be relieved to know at the end of the movie, Scorpion goes back to the park where he had his flashback and knocks over the statue as a final tribute to his departed friend and a massive "fuck you" to the poor parks and recreation employees who are probably going to have to rent a backhoe to put it back up again. Great job Tonny!

   https://ultimateactionmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Scorpion-1986.jpg

   Gentlemen, let me introduce to you Scorpion, the first and only movie starring former karate champion Tonny Tulleners, who's major claim to fame is being the guy who consistently kicked Chuck Norris' ass in several tournaments back in the day, writing a popular 'Beginning Karate' book that you could order by mail from the back of Boy's Life, and for having the best porn star/Larry Csonka mustache in the martial arts community.

   You can watch the entire movie in full here:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78SI8hNUEEE

   And according to RetroFilm Vault, it's in the Public Domain, though I haven't seen it listed on Archive.org… more

   20 votes

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4. Dragon Ball Evolution

   A terrible garbage fire of a movie that takes its source material, one of the most beloved pop culture franchises in the world, and wipes its unmentionables with it. Horrible acting, even worse action and special effects, turning the legendary Son Goku into a cliche sad teenager, notorious for being one of the worse movie adaptations of a franchise ever made and universally reviled by fans and even non-fans alike....perfect for riffs!

   Plus the guys have mentioned Dragon Ball in at least one riff before (forget which Riffttrax specifically) so they're at least aware of it! The rest of the internet community has rightfully torn it apart, but it wouldn't be complete without the MST3K boys taking it on!

   A terrible garbage fire of a movie that takes its source material, one of the most beloved pop culture franchises in the world, and wipes its unmentionables with it. Horrible acting, even worse action and special effects, turning the legendary Son Goku into a cliche sad teenager, notorious for being one of the worse movie adaptations of a franchise ever made and universally reviled by fans and even non-fans alike....perfect for riffs!

   Plus the guys have mentioned Dragon Ball in at least one riff before (forget which Riffttrax specifically) so they're at least aware of it! The rest of the… more

   47 votes

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5. "Gung Ho" by Steve French

   It's an Australian take on "Tom and Jerry", with certain twists on the formula.

   1. The mouse only goes out because his wife is bickering about cheese.
   2. It's slapstick with a disabled cat.
   3. The ending is fairly harmonious with both bonding over a bottle of "*** catnip".

   The movie is distributed as part of the Kaboodle series by the Australian Children's Television Foundation. A copy of that segment can be found here:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7LZMbEyiZw

   8 votes

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6. Season of the Witch/Hungry Wives/Jack's Wife (1972)

   This George A. Romero production opens with a soundtrack that will make your ears bleed. Seriously. And random people walking through a forest for no apparent reason seeing various odd bits.

   Then there's the "etcetera" scene which has a guy who reminds me of a real estate agent showing this woman around a house using the word "etcetera" a lot!

   Random wife leashing. Yes, you read that right.

   Tarot reader with a bizarre business model steps in and the scene descends into vodka drinking and pot smoking.

   No real tension, scares or plot...perhaps pot was smoked while writing it? Very riff -worthy.

   This George A. Romero production opens with a soundtrack that will make your ears bleed. Seriously. And random people walking through a forest for no apparent reason seeing various odd bits.

   Then there's the "etcetera" scene which has a guy who reminds me of a real estate agent showing this woman around a house using the word "etcetera" a lot!

   Random wife leashing. Yes, you read that right.

   Tarot reader with a bizarre business model steps in and the scene descends into vodka drinking and pot smoking.

   No real tension, scares or plot...perhaps pot was smoked while writing it? Very… more

   7 votes

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7. Fullmetal Alchemist (2017)

   I just watched about 1/2 of this movie after watching the full animated series, and I don't think I can watch the other half without a Rifftrax!

   This movie is perfect for Riffing. It's like they lifted scenes and characters straight from the Anime. It's like one big cosplay troupe got a CGI budget and went wild! They even got the English voice actors from the Anime series to do the overdubs for the movie. There isn't a single scene from this movie that can't be made fun of! The riffs will write themselves!

   7 votes

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8. Godzilla vs Kong

   New blockbuster that NEEDS to be done!!

   30 votes

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9. Dave Made A Maze

   The movie is about a guy named Dave who decides to build a cardboard fort while his girlfriend, Annie, is out of town. In the process, he ends up becoming trapped and Annie has to lead an expedition into the maze to rescue Dave while avoiding traps, angry cardboard creatures, and a Minotaur.

   1) The movie has only light puns occasionally, so it has room for jokes.
   2) It's 81 minutes long, so it's reasonably sized.
   3) It has an extremely creative environment which is low-cost fantasy.
   Mention: there is violence, but blood is shown as red streamers. The text on the back calls it a 'Homemade Labyrinth for adults". 15+ and Contains Strong Language.
   Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAvk33B9oo4

   The movie is about a guy named Dave who decides to build a cardboard fort while his girlfriend, Annie, is out of town. In the process, he ends up becoming trapped and Annie has to lead an expedition into the maze to rescue Dave while avoiding traps, angry cardboard creatures, and a Minotaur.

   1) The movie has only light puns occasionally, so it has room for jokes.
   2) It's 81 minutes long, so it's reasonably sized.
   3) It has an extremely creative environment which is low-cost fantasy.
   Mention: there is violence, but blood is shown as red streamers. The text… more

   21 votes

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10. ****** Special Ops (2016)

    So writer / director Fred Olen Ray was, like, "I have some a desert location, some military-like props, and some Middle Eastern looking C actors. What could add legitimacy to my film? Oh, I know, Steven Seagal. I'll just put them in a chair where he will be seen three times in the movie by the suckers who rent this at the Redbox because he was the headliner."

    3 votes

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11. The Flying Dutchman

    An art dealer thinks she has found an art genius and falls emediately in **** with a rural mute artist Eric Roberts who happens to be a serial killer. That is the only coherent thing in the whole movie.

    There appears to be a lot of incest going on, if you can actually figure out who is related to who and how. Though it seems the town is only made up of a couple of people, who are all related somehow and hate each other.

    There is Rod Steiger on absinthe chewing up scenery so bad even Adam West and Bill Shatner would blush and say that's over the top.

    And did I mention Eric Roberts is the lead. So yeah, Eric Roberts.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245901/

    An art dealer thinks she has found an art genius and falls emediately in **** with a rural mute artist Eric Roberts who happens to be a serial killer. That is the only coherent thing in the whole movie.

    There appears to be a lot of incest going on, if you can actually figure out who is related to who and how. Though it seems the town is only made up of a couple of people, who are all related somehow and hate each other.

    There is Rod Steiger on absinthe chewing up scenery so bad even Adam West and… more

    13 votes

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12. The Protector 2

    1) It features a strong love story between two brothers: one a martial arts expert (branded number 1 just after getting his butt kicked) and one... an elephant. And no, this is not a kid's movie.

    2) a ridiculously long motorcycle chase with an unlimited supply of biker gang members that are almost ridiculous enough to be in a Joel Schumacher movie.

    3) TUSK BOMBS!

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1925518/

    18 votes

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13. Fatal exam

    Fatal Exam (1990)

    This movie has everything: 45 year old college students who drive station wagons; community theater-level stilted dialogue; hideous late 80s fashion; doughy dudes with poodle hair and ersatz Tom of Finland mustaches; crummy special effects; a haunted house; everything! This could be a great companion piece to Ghost House! Please please please riff this bad boy!

    https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0156529/

    33 votes

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14. And Now The Screaming Starts

    It's so delightfully goofy.

    2 votes

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15. Blood & Honor (2000)

    Top billed Miles O'Keeffe appears halfway through this period soap opera and then just disappears, along with the plot his character was suppose to thicken. As a student of the American Civil War, I was excited when I found a DVD of Blood and Honor at a thrift store. After a viewing, I burned the copy. A rambling, nearly nonexistence plot in a dollar store knockoff of Gone With The Wind. Just a bunch of tropes that have been used in every other period piece and historical romance novel. Terrible acting, sound, editing and cinematography. Obviously fake blood. The battle scenes were obviously reenactments in which people can be seen casually walking around in the background. Seeing that the author, Maurice J Fagan, of the book the film is based on produced the film should have turned the opening credits into a warning. Directed and Written by Donald Farmer, whose resume is mostly b-rated horror films like ****** With A Chainsaw, Cannibal Cop, and Shark Exorcist, this Sherman-March-To-The-Sea Fire would be a great departure from your normal horror and sci-fi repertoire.

    Top billed Miles O'Keeffe appears halfway through this period soap opera and then just disappears, along with the plot his character was suppose to thicken. As a student of the American Civil War, I was excited when I found a DVD of Blood and Honor at a thrift store. After a viewing, I burned the copy. A rambling, nearly nonexistence plot in a dollar store knockoff of Gone With The Wind. Just a bunch of tropes that have been used in every other period piece and historical romance novel. Terrible acting, sound, editing and cinematography. Obviously fake blood. The battle… more

    15 votes

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16. To Boldly Flee

    In 2012, an internet reviewer decided to retire his character* the only way he knew how: in a 3 1/2 hour long movie. Highlights include: a cast of other reviewers who clearly don't want to be there, barely disguised (if disguised at all) plot points lifted straight out of other movies, and a finale wherein the reviewer meets the guy who plays him (basically, the same guy but less shouty).

    *said character would come back only a few months later

    1 vote

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17. Dream Machine

    First it's got the late great Corey Haim. It's got everything a RiffTrax movie needs. B-movie action, B-movie romance, B-movie story and sound track. Plus it's got a Porsche. 5.3 IMDB
    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099462/

    16 votes

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18. Hellraiser IV: Bloodline

    Hellraiser ... in spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!
    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116514/reference
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XB5uvrzx9s

    20 votes

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19. Did monster die

    Squinty Marty Milner look alike tries to get to the bottom of a mystery involving a weird town, a weird family and Boris Karloff making monsters in his greenhouse. An H. P. Lovecraft story.

    17 votes

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20. Primal Scream (**** Fire)

    Primal Scream (**** Fire) is a bizarre 80's flick where, it seems, if you have a beard you're evil. It involves a Sam Spade-y PI, space ships, aliens and stuffed raccoons! Stuff happens for no real reason and the exposition is weird...is it post-apocalyptical, science fiction or just drug induced weirdness. With lines like "Otherwise, you're beating your mother!" And let's not forget the many, many groin kicks and punches. It'll have you crossing your legs! it's so, so open to riffing. Seriously

    3 votes

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    0 comments  ·  Delete…  ·  Admin →