7496 results found

1. Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottonhell (2014)

   A truly horrible movie even though it was supposed to be campy it fails in even that . It can only get funnier with your help ! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4065066/

   14 votes

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2. 400 Days (2015 - SyFy)

   There are three things you must learn NEVER to do when it comes to watching new films: (1) NEVER follow the crowd; (2) NEVER take the suggestions from friends who dare call it 'new and different'; and (3) NEVER take viewing recommendations from Amazon or Facebook on new and unusual features.

   Regrettably this Fangarian failed to heed the third one and was pulled in hook, line, and 1000-ton-weight sinker on this oddity engineered by the same network who dared bring you ALL the Sharknado films (with one and two riffed live by the crew--shameless plug).

   Yes, SyFy decided to cash in on the isolation genre, but somewhere along the way, either the producers received a stroke, or ran out of the budget and change it into a bizarre apocalyptic film with an abrupt ending that would make the short 'Feelings: I'm Feeling Alone,' appear quite normal.

   But I digress.. you came to read about this film, and folks, I'm gonna give it to you straight...

   As with most SyFy flicks, '400 Days' does boast a great cast, but as with 'Manos,' has really no idea where they're going with it. As Amazon describes it as the Moon Meets the Divide... but from this Paranormal Time Lord's perspective.. it's more like two great Twilight Zone plots that had a horrible, inexplicable train wreck...

   Basically, '400 Days' means what it says: at some point within the Earth's Future.. four astronauts are selected for a top secret project. What is it you might ask? Why simple enough: they have to remain within a simulator for 400 Days as a means to see if they can survive an intergalactic trip to some destination, just in case... well, you know.. the Earth should somehow blow up.. the Daleks come and invade... or Mike, Kevin and Bill snap and transmit the director's cut of 'Manos: Hands of Fate' instead of the Super Bowl.

   Y'know.. end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine, stuff.

   So naturally, we get to see the simulation ship at hand, complete with an inset TARDIS-like console with touch controls. Space Suits that look like motorcycle uniforms, complete with helmets. And our lucky crew who have to endure the fun for 400 Days.

   Naturally, the film goes from there where we see the crew go through their paces day-by-day... sort of like the Shining...

   [Crew Director] Well, there goes our crew, sealed off until 400 Days later.. hope they survive better than the last ones.

   [Assistant] Uh, sir, did it ever occur to you that it was doing this that made them go insane and kill one another.

   [CD] Tell you what, after 400 Days, if we come back and find them all dead, I'll buy you a Coke Zero.

   (Of course, not actual script dialogue, but better than what we hear for the most part.)

   Anyway, as the movie does show promise into letting us see all the crew members slip slowly into bizarre madness... the director suddenly decides this is become mundane and throws us a curve ball by having an unexpected tremor hit the simulation near the end of the time allotment.

   While most are freaking out, Dane Cook keeps swearing it's all part of the simulation. Until the crew notices all forms of communication are now suddenly down and that everything seems quiet. Too quiet.. oh, unless you count the strange, naked creature that invades the simulation, prompting everyone to exit the craft.

   Eventually they do in their spacesuits to find a dark, dusty Earth.. no apes, no cannibals, no zombies, not even Charleton Heston to scream at them, 'SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!' So Brandon Routh can shrug his shoulders and say, 'So what's to know?'

   After wasting about several minutes of the film of them walking about in this dustbowl, the group finds themselves first at an abandon house, then an old-time town (good god, they still have those?) where they meet some friendly people (friendly, by the Addams sense) and that's when all sanity has flown out the window...

   So why should the RiffTrax Crew endure '400 Days?'

   (1) All Star Cast: Brandon Routh, Ben Feldman and Dane Cook (yes, that Dane Cook), and that Cavanaugh guy from Ed and the Flash as the insane one.. with this roster, how could anything go wrong? Look what the celebrity cast did for Sharknado... except where Sharknado is more of a comedy... 400 Days allegedly passes itself off as a serious, insightful film.. you know, like the Bermuda Triangle did...

   (2) Attempting figuring out what the director intended, not to mention a few inexplicable plot holes along the way. Case in point, when two of the astronauts decide to go out to make repairs on the 'hull' breach, they go out in their 'spacesuits.' Never taking them off for any reason. But when they all later go out exploring their surroundings, Dane Cook simply takes off his helmet, breathing easily, making you wonder why didn't the others simply do the same thing? Especially if they're technically still on Earth.

   And as Dane Cook keeps insisting they are still within the simulation, you sort of wonder if he's right, since the director keeps using night vision lenses periodically as if the group is being monitored by our friend, Terry from Man V. Monster, possibly searching for another mythical beast.

   After awhile you'll think 'Fun in Balloonland' had a more comprehensible plot than this... which leads into the third point.

   (3) For once, nobody has a clue to what caused this Earth's apocalyptic disaster. Truthfully, the directors never give any indication to what genuinely occurred to plunge the planet into a permanent, gusty, sandstorm realm. Atomic fallout, the Moon crashing into the planet, alien invasion, Daleks, Apes flinging their poo, the Sun going out.. nobody seems to know or care. Though there is a lot of allusions to cannibalism and the fact two of the astronauts suddenly vanish with no rhyme or reason to what fate had become of them. As well as an inexplicable love scene, because what goes better than being pursued by blood-thirsty survivors than to astronauts talking about their relationship, while being hold up in their house.

   Now for the bonus ending: Rather than spoil it for you, the ending is the most anticlimactic thing that SyFy could ever come up with, which reminded me of a series called 'In/Out' where they had a bunch of kids run a high school for two weeks like a country, but even that ending didn't make you want to whisper like Bill, 'seriously, what the hell was that?'

   Overall, this one is so bad, I'd elect this for a future RiffTrax Live Project, definitely for another Crappening, if possible or a VOD.

   Here's the Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh5W-XRr0_0

   There are three things you must learn NEVER to do when it comes to watching new films: (1) NEVER follow the crowd; (2) NEVER take the suggestions from friends who dare call it 'new and different'; and (3) NEVER take viewing recommendations from Amazon or Facebook on new and unusual features.

   Regrettably this Fangarian failed to heed the third one and was pulled in hook, line, and 1000-ton-weight sinker on this oddity engineered by the same network who dared bring you ALL the Sharknado films (with one and two riffed live by the crew--shameless plug).

   Yes, SyFy decided to cash… more

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   28 votes

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3. The terminal man

   The Terminal Man
   Cheesy Michael Crichton
   Hammy George Segal
   Shotty filmmaking

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   17 votes

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4. Second Glance

   Hey Scotty...!
   Jesus, Man!

   4 votes

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5. Gods of Egypt

   This cinematic abomination's budget was about $140 million. Imagine all the highway potholes that could have been filled with that money.

   45 votes

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6. Dead Man Walking (1988)

   Because we need more Wings Hauser riffs! This time, however, instead of teaming up with Bo Hopkins, it's Re-Animator's Jeffery Combs!

   A post-apocalyptic film where a chauffeur (Combs) has to rescue his boss's daughter from the "Plague Zone" with the help of a merc (Hauser).

   Also stars the guy who played Leon in Blade Runner.

   This guy has a pretty good write-up on it:
   http://www.mattmovieguy.com/2011/09/dead-man-walking-1988.html

   27 votes

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7. Deadly China Hero with Jet Li

   Its riffs itself, a chicken costume fighting several men in a centipede costume, bad dubs and subs... Its gold!

   13 votes

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8. Cutie Honey (Live action film)

   Really terrible film based on a popular anime and manga and - inexplicably - directed by the director of the brilliant Neon Genesis Evangelion. If there is any way to make this awful film even funnier, you are the ones to do it!

   9 votes

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9. 1974 Buick Century (promotional short film)

   BIG CARS that qualify as tiny houses by today's standards! David Hartman's sister has a cameo! And marvel as a fishing fly is tied in the passenger seat before your very eyes!

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPcHvgZIHcE&feature=youtu.be

   13 votes

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10. Beauty and the Beast (1988)

    I hit up MST3K, but they already have the movies picked out for the season, but there is a jewel that is screaming for your words! 1988s Beauty and the Beast with Rebecca De Mornay.
    If there was ever a film, this is the pièce de résistance.

    27 votes

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11. Kung Fu vs. Yoga (1979)

    Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Clear your mind of all negative thoughts... because it's the only way to prepare yourself for this non-stop flurry of pants-stretching, bone-smashing, carnage! A far-out fracas of chop-socky chicken curry chaos, and your Yin and Yang are smack dab in the middle! Hang on you your coolie hat, hide your sacred cow; the ultimate battle of East vs. East is about to begin! Whoever Wins... NAMASTE LOSES!

    35 votes

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12. The Dope Game or Hood Rats

    Both these movies are perfect. Trust me, Just watch them

    5 votes

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13. Sights of Death aka Death Squad

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3481210/

    An absolutely godawful script with apocalyptically bad acting.

    An incredible cast all doing their career worst acting.

    Not a plot as such... More one gigantic plot hole.

    Plastic helicopters.

    11 votes

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14. Super Sucker

    Just an idea since I know you guys would riff the crap out of it. I live in Jackson, Michigan which is where it was filmed. Michigan Theatre would be a fantastic site for a live show as well.....

    14 votes

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15. Crack in the World

    Crack in the World is a terrific science fiction film from 1965. Some say it is campy cheese with poor effects and bad acting, others consider it a cult-classic. Just watch the trailer and you will see that the film is perfect for Rifftrax. https://youtu.be/hxzvREM2S94

    23 votes

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16. The King Is Alive

    The King Is Alive

    1. Roger Ebert said of this movie, "I imagine that many people would be actively hostile towards this movie."

    2. It is a Dogme95 movie, which means it was created using the following set of rules called "The Vow of Chastity":

    Shooting must be done on location. Props and sets must not be brought in (if a particular prop is necessary for the story, a location must be chosen where this prop is to be found).
    The sound must never be produced apart from the images or vice versa. (Music must not be used unless it occurs where the scene is being shot.)
    The camera must be hand-held. Any movement or immobility attainable in the hand is permitted.
    The film must be in color. Special lighting is not acceptable. (If there is too little light for exposure the scene must be cut or a single lamp be attached to the camera).
    Optical work and filters are forbidden.
    Temporal and geographical alienation are forbidden. (That is to say that the film takes place here and now).
    Genre movies are not acceptable.
    The film format must be Academy 35 mm.
    The director must not be credited.

    That fact alone provides much potential, I would think.

    1. It's "Shakespeare", sorta.

    2. If anyone could make this movie funny, it would be you guys.

    If those are all not good reasons, I don't know what is.

    The King Is Alive

    1. Roger Ebert said of this movie, "I imagine that many people would be actively hostile towards this movie."

    2. It is a Dogme95 movie, which means it was created using the following set of rules called "The Vow of Chastity":

    Shooting must be done on location. Props and sets must not be brought in (if a particular prop is necessary for the story, a location must be chosen where this prop is to be found).
    The sound must never be produced apart from the images or vice versa. (Music must not be used unless it occurs where… more

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    16 votes

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17. Ghosts Can't Do It

    Scott and Kate are happily married despite their 30-year age difference. After Scott suffers a heart attack and is unable to make love, he commits suicide and becomes a ghost that only Kate can see and speak with. To make it possible for Scott to return as a human, they conjure up a plan to have a young man drown so that Scott can take his body. Features Trump saying Trumpy things.

    30 votes

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18. monkey shine
    13 votes

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19. Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold

    Allan Quatermain returns in this sequel to King Solomon's Mines, replete with his familiar brand of wading through thick, brown soups, searching for gold and throwing dynamite at anything that moves. If that wasn't enough to tug at your bobber, did I mention that HENRY SILVA is in it as some sort of weird High Priest in a fabulous purple and gold dress? Oh yeah. That happens.

    76 votes

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20. King Solomon's Mines

    With awful special effects, implausible action (can we talk about being dragged behind a train?) and John Rhys-Davies as a bad guy, how can you go wrong with this 1985 slab of cheesy goodness? Oh, yeah. Did I mention It's a Golan-Globus production?

    Ever in search of adventure, explorer Allan Quatermain (Richard Chamberlain) agrees to join the beautiful Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone) on a mission to locate her archaeologist father, who has been abducted for his knowledge of the legendary mines of King Solomon.

    71 votes

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    0 comments  ·  Delete…  ·  Admin →