There are three things you must learn NEVER to do when it comes to watching new films: (1) NEVER follow the crowd; (2) NEVER take the suggestions from friends who dare call it 'new and different'; and (3) NEVER take viewing recommendations from Amazon or Facebook on new and unusual features.

Regrettably this Fangarian failed to heed the third one and was pulled in hook, line, and 1000-ton-weight sinker on this oddity engineered by the same network who dared bring you ALL the Sharknado films (with one and two riffed live by the crew--shameless plug).

Yes, SyFy decided to cash in on the isolation genre, but somewhere along the way, either the producers received a stroke, or ran out of the budget and change it into a bizarre apocalyptic film with an abrupt ending that would make the short 'Feelings: I'm Feeling Alone,' appear quite normal.

But I digress.. you came to read about this film, and folks, I'm gonna give it to you straight...

As with most SyFy flicks, '400 Days' does boast a great cast, but as with 'Manos,' has really no idea where they're going with it. As Amazon describes it as the Moon Meets the Divide... but from this Paranormal Time Lord's perspective.. it's more like two great Twilight Zone plots that had a horrible, inexplicable train wreck...

Basically, '400 Days' means what it says: at some point within the Earth's Future.. four astronauts are selected for a top secret project. What is it you might ask? Why simple enough: they have to remain within a simulator for 400 Days as a means to see if they can survive an intergalactic trip to some destination, just in case... well, you know.. the Earth should somehow blow up.. the Daleks come and invade... or Mike, Kevin and Bill snap and transmit the director's cut of 'Manos: Hands of Fate' instead of the Super Bowl.

Y'know.. end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine, stuff.

So naturally, we get to see the simulation ship at hand, complete with an inset TARDIS-like console with touch controls. Space Suits that look like motorcycle uniforms, complete with helmets. And our lucky crew who have to endure the fun for 400 Days.

Naturally, the film goes from there where we see the crew go through their paces day-by-day... sort of like the Shining...

[Crew Director] Well, there goes our crew, sealed off until 400 Days later.. hope they survive better than the last ones.

[Assistant] Uh, sir, did it ever occur to you that it was doing this that made them go insane and kill one another.

[CD] Tell you what, after 400 Days, if we come back and find them all dead, I'll buy you a Coke Zero.

(Of course, not actual script dialogue, but better than what we hear for the most part.)

Anyway, as the movie does show promise into letting us see all the crew members slip slowly into bizarre madness... the director suddenly decides this is become mundane and throws us a curve ball by having an unexpected tremor hit the simulation near the end of the time allotment.

While most are freaking out, Dane Cook keeps swearing it's all part of the simulation. Until the crew notices all forms of communication are now suddenly down and that everything seems quiet. Too quiet.. oh, unless you count the strange, naked creature that invades the simulation, prompting everyone to exit the craft.

Eventually they do in their spacesuits to find a dark, dusty Earth.. no apes, no cannibals, no zombies, not even Charleton Heston to scream at them, 'SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!' So Brandon Routh can shrug his shoulders and say, 'So what's to know?'

After wasting about several minutes of the film of them walking about in this dustbowl, the group finds themselves first at an abandon house, then an old-time town (good god, they still have those?) where they meet some friendly people (friendly, by the Addams sense) and that's when all sanity has flown out the window...

So why should the RiffTrax Crew endure '400 Days?'

(1) All Star Cast: Brandon Routh, Ben Feldman and Dane Cook (yes, that Dane Cook), and that Cavanaugh guy from Ed and the Flash as the insane one.. with this roster, how could anything go wrong? Look what the celebrity cast did for Sharknado... except where Sharknado is more of a comedy... 400 Days allegedly passes itself off as a serious, insightful film.. you know, like the Bermuda Triangle did...

(2) Attempting figuring out what the director intended, not to mention a few inexplicable plot holes along the way. Case in point, when two of the astronauts decide to go out to make repairs on the 'hull' breach, they go out in their 'spacesuits.' Never taking them off for any reason. But when they all later go out exploring their surroundings, Dane Cook simply takes off his helmet, breathing easily, making you wonder why didn't the others simply do the same thing? Especially if they're technically still on Earth.

And as Dane Cook keeps insisting they are still within the simulation, you sort of wonder if he's right, since the director keeps using night vision lenses periodically as if the group is being monitored by our friend, Terry from Man V. Monster, possibly searching for another mythical beast.

After awhile you'll think 'Fun in Balloonland' had a more comprehensible plot than this... which leads into the third point.

(3) For once, nobody has a clue to what caused this Earth's apocalyptic disaster. Truthfully, the directors never give any indication to what genuinely occurred to plunge the planet into a permanent, gusty, sandstorm realm. Atomic fallout, the Moon crashing into the planet, alien invasion, Daleks, Apes flinging their poo, the Sun going out.. nobody seems to know or care. Though there is a lot of allusions to cannibalism and the fact two of the astronauts suddenly vanish with no rhyme or reason to what fate had become of them. As well as an inexplicable love scene, because what goes better than being pursued by blood-thirsty survivors than to astronauts talking about their relationship, while being hold up in their house.

Now for the bonus ending: Rather than spoil it for you, the ending is the most anticlimactic thing that SyFy could ever come up with, which reminded me of a series called 'In/Out' where they had a bunch of kids run a high school for two weeks like a country, but even that ending didn't make you want to whisper like Bill, 'seriously, what the hell was that?'

Overall, this one is so bad, I'd elect this for a future RiffTrax Live Project, definitely for another Crappening, if possible or a VOD.

Here's the Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh5W-XRr0_0