7496 results found

1. Scorpion (1986)

   Gentlemen, let me introduce to you Scorpion, the first and only movie starring former karate champion Tonny Tulleners, who's major claim to fame is being the guy who consistently kicked Chuck Norris' ass in several tournaments back in the day, writing a popular 'Beginning Karate' book that you could order by mail from the back of Boy's Life, and for having the best porn star/Larry Csonka mustache in the martial arts community.

   You can watch the entire movie in full here:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78SI8hNUEEE

   And according to RetroFilm Vault, it's in the Public Domain, though I haven't seen it listed on Archive.org or any of the other usual public domain sites.

   There's a reason Chuck's film career took off and Tonny's stalled after just one movie, which will become apparent the moment you see his soft-spoken highly nuanced non-performance as special agent "Steve Woods", who is also occasionally called "Scorpion" when they remember they need to shoehorn it in to justify the bad-ass video cover. Apparently, there's some union rule where every single one of these karate cop movies has to begin with the guy being sent into a hostage situation naked, in his underwear, or in Tonny's case, wearing extremely upsetting tiny white short shorts, to convince the gun-toting terrorists that he's not carrying any concealed weapons or dignity.

   The movie then drifts into even more tried and true action movie format, when Tonny's best friend and partner (and 3rd grade level amateur recorder player) is murdered trying to protect an important government witness who looks remarkably like a Cuban Robert Z'Dar, forcing "Scorpion" to stop playing by the rules and uncover a hidden ring of corruption (well... not that well hidden) and avenge his partner's death by punching a lot of people in the face. But first, we get a meaningful flashback to the time when he and his buddy were 6 and tried really really hard to vandalize a statue in the park by pushing it over. What follows is an extremely tepid game of Ambien Cat vs. Zoloft Mouse, culminating in the most lackluster helicopter vs. boat chase since Mitchell, and you guessed it, punching the final bad guy in the face. (All of the fight scenes in this movie suck. They obviously didn't hire any martial artists besides Tonny, or waste any time or money on fight choreography. All the bad guys attempt a few halfhearted blocks then immediately get taken down in the space of about 10 seconds.) But if you're worried about the film not having any dramatic payoff, you'll be relieved to know at the end of the movie, Scorpion goes back to the park where he had his flashback and knocks over the statue as a final tribute to his departed friend and a massive "fuck you" to the poor parks and recreation employees who are probably going to have to rent a backhoe to put it back up again. Great job Tonny!

   https://ultimateactionmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Scorpion-1986.jpg

   Gentlemen, let me introduce to you Scorpion, the first and only movie starring former karate champion Tonny Tulleners, who's major claim to fame is being the guy who consistently kicked Chuck Norris' ass in several tournaments back in the day, writing a popular 'Beginning Karate' book that you could order by mail from the back of Boy's Life, and for having the best porn star/Larry Csonka mustache in the martial arts community.

   You can watch the entire movie in full here:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78SI8hNUEEE

   And according to RetroFilm Vault, it's in the Public Domain, though I haven't seen it listed on Archive.org… more

   20 votes

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2. The Fist of Death (1982) AKA El Puño de la Muerte

   This one's pretty out there. The terrible english voiceover is hilarious.

   It has wacky antics involving air boats, airplanes, spit wad shooting natives that communicate using drums, tons of stock footage of wild animals. A jungle girl, a star crystal, scantily clad priestesses, telepathic messages, This movie has it all!

   Mexican actors pretending to be asians praying to their oracle C3PO.

   Did I mention lucadors? Yeah, theres lots of those too - most notably a very polite and courteous El Santo and his trusty sidekick CLIFF!

   http://www.wam.umd.edu/~dwilt/sansyn5.htm

   6 votes

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3. The Astrologer (1976)

   This is an ego-trip on a Tommy Wiseau level. Craig Denney directed and starred in this, while the script is by a Dorothy June Pidgeon. Dorothy has this movie as her only credit, so I suspect this is actually Craig Denney's nom de plume.
   It is a self-regarding tale of an astrologer who becomes so successful rich and famous, he decides to make a movie about himself. The editing's appalling, the acting worse. The plot includes pointless detours to Africa and the South Pacific, which add nothing very much to the whole sorry tale.

   23 votes

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4. Captain America (15 part serial)

   Let me set the Stage. It’s the mid 1940’s, WWII is raging, and there’s this publication group called Timely Comics. It’s still decades away before they adopt a more “Marvel-ous” name, but for now they have this new character they call Captain America who they think will make waves. Timely wants to make a serial for Cap, Republic has made tons of serials, what could go wrong?

   Hilariously, Republic threw out literally everything about Captain America for the serial. Sure he mostly has his costume, but this is not Steve Rogers the super soldier fighting the Nazis with the help of Bucky. Inexplicably the serial stars “Grant Gardner,” a powerless distract attorney who fights gangsters with the help of his secretary Gail Richards. No shield, no powers, he’s just a DA in spandex fighting a museum curator called the Scarab.

   The bizarre choice of characters is fun enough, but there’s more to enjoy. The story starts with the Scarab trying to get his hands on a scientist’s ********. Be suspicious and Gail will gun you down before you can draw. There’s an arc where the Scarab kidnaps a scientist and wastes valuable resources resurrecting a henchman. Grant reveals his “first shot is always a blank” and then never uses a blank again. The Scarab can’t read his own name when it’s backwards.

   It’s a bizarre part of Marvel history, their first foray into live-action. It still exists in the comic books as an in-universe propaganda film about Cap. It’s a fun time, and I would love to see it riffed.

   Links to imdb and a playlist of it on YouTube.

   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036697/

   https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL131E945B584E2D74

   Let me set the Stage. It’s the mid 1940’s, WWII is raging, and there’s this publication group called Timely Comics. It’s still decades away before they adopt a more “Marvel-ous” name, but for now they have this new character they call Captain America who they think will make waves. Timely wants to make a serial for Cap, Republic has made tons of serials, what could go wrong?

   Hilariously, Republic threw out literally everything about Captain America for the serial. Sure he mostly has his costume, but this is not Steve Rogers the super soldier fighting the Nazis with the help… more

   23 votes

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5. Fist of Fury 1972

   Hey guys, loved your work for something like 20 years now. Just saw the Bruce Lee Fist of Fury riff the other day, and honestly I'm incredibly disappointed. In addition to not being funny, the riffs were incredibly racist. I quit about 20 minutes in when it became clear the initial jokes about Chinese food and such weren't one-offs. I believe you can do better, and I would be really interested in a version of it I'd feel comfortable showing my kids one day.

   1 vote

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6. Zombie Apocalypse

   Only the best movie I have ever come across on Prime, this movie was MADE for RiffTrax, for real, you gotta check this one out, please please please

   14 votes

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7. Night Visitor (1989)

   High schooler finds out his teacher is a satanic worshipping serial killer.
   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100254/reference
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9dRgGSEQ_I

   5 votes

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8. The Lounge People

   From 1991, I remember this delightfully weird little movie used to play all the time back in the early 90s on stations like HBO and Comedy Central. Would be great to see RiffTrax take it on. Good luck finding a copy though; it's not to be found on Amazon or eBay.
   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104762/

   6 votes

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9. King of Fighters

   In the line of really bad video game movies, this one follows the plot of not even remotely going along with the franchise. King of Fighters has it all!

   27 votes

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10. Operation Atlantis or also known as Agent 003: Operation Atlantis

    I've watched a LOT of Eurospy/secret agent films, but this one is just RANDOM!

    From 1965 "starring" John Ericson.

    According to IMDB: "An American agent discovers that the Red Chinese have built a secret atomic city from which they will attempt to invade America."

    And something to do with Atlantis or ghosts from Atlantis, I got lost around that point.

    It looks nuts and therefore perfect Riff-fodder!

    14 votes

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11. Rifftrax, please riff MORE SWORD AND SANDALs

    That's it. Just more classic Sword n' Sandals flicks in the vein of Sons of Hercules, Son of Sinbad, and...well, more movies about watered-down offspring.

    6 votes

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12. Stage Fright (1987)

    An Italian giallo film about a bunch of actors, and I use that word loosely, making a musical about a serial killer when a real serial killer shows up! So bizarre and riff-worthy. There's the original play itself which is the biggest bunch of hooey since "Cats", the scene of the nurse with her lionfish (which is shown often enough it should have been in the credits), the goofy director and his actors. Imagine if "Cats" was a murder mystery musical with serial killers. Just straight up weird on so many levels.

    16 votes

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13. First Strike

    The action is hot but there are times when the show slows down, enough for come fun riffs

    16 votes

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14. I’m gonna git you sucka

    A great blaxploitation film. Characters that will give you guys plenty to riff about. Jack Spade!

    4 votes

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15. unknown world (1951)

    A bizarre film from 1951 where a paranoid scientist convinces others to build and pilot aN underground submarine down a volcano to a new world at the earth's core. Some elements were supposedly used in The Core movie. Combines 50's paranoia with weird science and stereotypical characters to make a riff worthy mess.

    27 votes

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16. Time walker

    I saw this on Svengoolie and thought it could use some good riffing!

    13 votes

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17. Dead calm

    Nicole Kidman plays a moron pitted against a psycho.

    10 votes

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18. Christmas Spirit

    Same director as Santa's Summer House and A Talking Cat!?!...plus Marsha Brady (Maureen Mccormick).

    21 votes

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19. The Brain Machine (Us version 1972)

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075781/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

    This movie is SO BORING!
    James Best is in it and is the ONLY actor that's remotely trying to act well.
    The mansion from "Angel's Revenge" shows up from time to time.
    A boom mike shows up really badly in one scene.
    You guys have GOT TO riff this!

    21 votes

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20. Velocipastor

    The name says it all - a pastor who can turn into a velociraptor. Wait, no, a priest who can turn into a velociraptor. Huh. I guess the name doesn’t say it all!

    168 votes

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