7499 results found

1. Shock Waves

   Shock Waves (1977) near the end of WWII a German U-boat sinks near a remote island in the Pacific. On this submarine are some elite Nazi soldiers. Did I forget to mention they are zombies ? Also stars John Carradine, Peter Cushing and the always easy on the eyes Brooke Adams. I do not remember much but I remember these Nazi soldiers rising up out of the water and the wacky music that ensued.

   20 votes

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2. Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter (1974)

   If you thought TWILIGHT had you scratching your head over 'sparkling' vampires, this film will make you wonder WHAT kind of vampires Captain Kronos is pursuing.

   The best way to explain is to get into the film itself. Starts off with two girls in the woods chasing one another (oh, yes, like that's REAL safe..) and one goes off alone deeper into the woods. Enter the ominous-looking, cloaked figure. Next comes the bizarre director's choice of having the camera showing us the perspective of the figure.

   At first the girl recoils in fear, then suddenly smiles (as if the 'vampire' either hypnotized her, or spiked the flowers with poppies, you be the judge). The vampire then attacks, but not by chomping down on her neck, either leaving the cliche puncture wounds, or tearing out her throat. Instead, the vampire apparently kisses her (no kidding), causing blood to trickle from her mouth.

   Afterwards when she is found, apparently she's transformed into an old woman. Strange, huh? Anyway, Kronos and his crew come onto the scene.

   Now, at this point, I should tell you, all your standard classic Hollywood vampire conventions are thrown out the window. First off, one of Kronos' side-kick, a hunchback professor, which looks like a dapper Frenchman with a growth, buries boxes of dead frogs about the forest. As the mysterious cloaked figure rides by, they dig them up and discover (ta-daah), they're alive.

   Apparently in this universe, vampires can re-animate dead amphibians. Also they kiss people and drain them not only of blood, but of their youth as well.

   Meanwhile Kronos meets the local doctor, who is close friends with him, and we learn a little insight about him. Obviously a soldier from a previous war (not clear on which one, tho, never say), Kronos' family was murdered by vampires, which has made him go into this profession, but it never goes into why, if he's after the head vampire, or if he's seeking the one responsible.

   In fact, when he meets up with a female local (Caroline Munro), it requires a bit of suspending disbelief that Kronos had ever settled down with a family in the first place.

   But back to the main plot, Dr. Marcus (Kronos' friend) decides on conducting some more investigations, while Kronos' partner and female (ahem) Companion attempt to set up traps to catch the vampire in the act.

   Now in all fairness, one actual true vampire attack occurs when a bat does attack a female in a hilarious scene that would make Birdemic's dive-bombing bird look like Shakespeare. But I digress, Dr. Marcus considers the main suspects to be the royal Durward family, since evidence points to Lady Durward to be around when the attacks occur. Her children do appear sinister in nature for the fact they have white hair and kind of act like snots. Y'know, typical 17th Century aristocrats.

   One thing interesting about this film, I suspect the whole 'vampire blood contagion' shtick originated from here, though in this case, it doesn't really explain how this thing works. On his way back, Dr. Marcus gets blood splattered on him, though we don't see how this is possible. And when he gets home, the next morning, he discovers he is changing into a vampire (by looking into a mirror, no less, like I said all conventions are shot to hell in this tale).

   Rather than find a way to cure the man (or even figure out HOW EXACTLY did it happen), Kronos is spurred on to kill him by trussing Dr. Marcus up and staking the poor victim in the heart.

   Okay... then suddenly from all of this, they decide the Durward family is the source. And the rest makes as much sense as a soup sandwich.

   Though it's supposed to come off as a serious, adventurous vampire flick, Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter is more of a hilarious, nonsensical romp into a man hunting down a monster turning young woman into dried jerky (more or less).

   I would love Bill, Kevin & MIke to definitely give this one a view and riff this classic take on the 'modern' vampire scene.

   Here's the actual film:

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsWAVsRefSg

   If you thought TWILIGHT had you scratching your head over 'sparkling' vampires, this film will make you wonder WHAT kind of vampires Captain Kronos is pursuing.

   The best way to explain is to get into the film itself. Starts off with two girls in the woods chasing one another (oh, yes, like that's REAL safe..) and one goes off alone deeper into the woods. Enter the ominous-looking, cloaked figure. Next comes the bizarre director's choice of having the camera showing us the perspective of the figure.

   At first the girl recoils in fear, then suddenly smiles (as if the 'vampire'… more

   39 votes

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3. The Adventures of Food Boy

   A teenager can create food from nothing, so naturally he becomes a superhero named Food Boy. Also, this is an honest-to-god still from it.

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   21 votes

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4. Robot Monster in 3-D!-Live!

   there is a 3-D print of Robot Monster and it would be a great live show.
   http://cheesyflix.com/store/robot-monster-in-3-d-1953?search=robot%20monster

   15 votes

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5. Joyful Noise

   Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton fight over who's a better gospel singer. Kris Kristofferson dies in the first five minutes, but his character will live forever. Or something like that.

   8 votes

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6. Finders Keepers (2015)

   EVERYTHING you want in a devil doll movie! Creepy-ass doll, kid inexplicably driven to like the creepy-ass doll, the mom from A Haunted House 2...

   PLUS MIKE, KEVIN, AND BILL'S FAVORITE PUBLIC DOMAIN SONG!

   12 votes

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7. Dhoom, Dhoom 2, Dhoom 3

   1) Dhoom detective/slapping/Bollywood
   2) Dhoom 2 Bollywood Mission Impossible villain with good cop/bad cop combo
   3 Dhoom 3 good cop/bad cop / tap dancing/ Bollywood/

   Watch any of the trailers and you'll see it basically riffs itself.

   3 votes

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8. Love actually
   16 votes

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9. Taken 3

   A lot of people don't like it. Even though I do it would still be funny to hear you guys riff this.

   23 votes

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10. Diggstown
    10 votes

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11. Fahrenheit 451 (1966)

    When Ray Bradbury penned this tale about firemen who set books on fire, I doubt he envisioned this little gem.

    Basically it's about a guy named Montag who sets books on fires, because for some reason they make people sad and cause wars (at least according to the film), and it's wild how this tale is spun.

    First he has to deal with his wife, who ends up almost o'ding on gold pills and is saved by some paramedics. Not to mention a hilarious scene where she is part of an interactive television show (surprisingly this was sort of ahead of its time).

    Then he meets a woman (who suspiciously resembles his wife--mainly because the same actress plays both roles) who is rather interesting, but is shunned because she doesn't buy into this non-reading crap.

    Then Montag watches an old woman set herself on fire when the firemen raid her house and discover an illegal 'library' there. Sneaking some books, he then makes one of his wife's friends upset because he reads a book, and strangely, it's not 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' (Maybe that's why he's upset.)

    The reason this needs to be riffed was basically Bradbury disliked this adaptation for the fact the way they sugar-coat the ending as opposed to how the book actually ends.

    Others are: 1) Despite the establishing segues, the film is a bit hard to follow since they like to pander on odd subjects; 2) The fact Montag seems more clueless about what's going on, let alone the fact the only other woman he meets is his wife's double; and 3) The director's strange scene where the fire chief seizes a mini 'Bible' from a baby, and shakes his finger at him (and you thought torturing the infant in 'Drugs Are Like That,' was bizarre).

    Here's the full movie from Universal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0bVqgBSZHk

    When Ray Bradbury penned this tale about firemen who set books on fire, I doubt he envisioned this little gem.

    Basically it's about a guy named Montag who sets books on fires, because for some reason they make people sad and cause wars (at least according to the film), and it's wild how this tale is spun.

    First he has to deal with his wife, who ends up almost o'ding on gold pills and is saved by some paramedics. Not to mention a hilarious scene where she is part of an interactive television show (surprisingly this was sort of ahead… more

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    17 votes

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12. DOA: Dead or Alive

    Video game turned to movie....stick with the video game

    885 votes

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13. Wrong cops

    This movie is absurd but pure gold.

    9 votes

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14. Mazes & Monsters 1982

    It does to Dungeons and Dragons what Reefer Madness did for Marijuana! And it also happens to star Tom Hanks as a college kid that gets too caught up in the game, flips out, believes he IS his character and goes on a quest to find the Two Towers and the Great Hall! Not to mention it also features Kevin Peter Hall - the Predator - as a "Gorvil" This incredibly horrible made for TV movie deserves to be taken to task! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084314/fullcredits?ref_=tt_cl_sm#cast

    622 votes

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15. L.A. Confidential

    Watch this again and tell me it's not a goldmine. I love it, but it is hilarious. Weird shots, weird names, some weird voices and acting decisions.... It's fantastic in a lot of ways, but soooo ripe for riffing. Please, I beg of you... TELL me you don't instantly have a few hundred jokes for just the beginning of this clip alone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L7UDkPAO5I

    25 votes

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16. The Riffies

    We think you should do a live Oscar-type event where you give awards to ultimate rifftrax movies. You could have some of the normal awards show categories (best actor Tommy Wiseau, anyone?) and add some like "best death scene", "best use of an awkward pause" or "best accent". You could riff clips of the nominees, and you could open up voting in each category online.

    13 votes

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17. Horror Express (1972)

    Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Telly Savalas star in this sci-fi horror classic set in 1906.

    Lee plays an English anthropologist who discovers a mysterious ape-like creature frozen in the Manchuria mountains. Believing it to be the Missing Link, he transports it by train. But is the creature really dead? Not another run of the mill Sasquatch film as it becomes clear there is something more to this creature than you'd expect. Something supernatural.

    https://archive.org/details/Horror_Express

    This film is public domain.

    15 votes

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18. The Arby's 13 Hour Smokehouse Brisket 13 Hour Commercial

    It's a 13 hour commercial of meat in a smoker. Please and thank you.

    6 votes

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19. Pitch Perfect

    Possibly worse than any episode of Glee. And with a sequel coming out soon, seems like a good time to riff it.

    30 votes

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20. Evilspeak (1981)

    Starring Clint Howard. A military cadet who happens to be a social outcast taps into a way to summon demons and cast spells on his tormentors through his computer.

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    30 votes

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