7499 results found

1. Ratchet & Clank

   "When the galaxy comes under the threat of a nefarious space captain, a mechanic and his newfound robot ally join an elite squad of combatants to save the universe."

   Man, even if it pays THAT CLOSE to the source material of the PlayStation franchise, it still has a measly 29 on Metacritic. At least the fans are happy. But, think it could get a visit from the riffers to "help" our beloved Lombax and his robot pal.

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2. last holiday

   Queen Latifa has a terminal disease and charms the pants off of some snobs. Need i say more.

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3. Ten Little Indians (1989)

   The classic Agatha Christie film, but ineptly and cheaply done.

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsMfCkcni88

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4. Freerunner

   Synopsis: A team of Parkour practitioners is abducted by the criminal Mr. Frank that puts remotely controlled necklaces with explosives around their necks to force them to participate in a millionaire gambling death race for their lives.
   Reasons
   Bad Acting (Brazilian Model Rebecca DeCosta)
   Poorly Edited
   Sean Faris looks eerily like a young Tom Cruise
   Cheezy stunts/effects
   Over the top bad guy played by Danny Dyer
   Low Budget
   Shot in Cleveland (that joke pretty much writes itself)
   Seymour Cassel

   trailer https://youtu.be/u4K4xbyRMIM

   imdb http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1579232/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

   Here's some quotes that were on imdb

   Gramps: Nothing great came from easy - except great sex from easy women.

   Morris: You're such a tease.
   Chelsea: You're such a pervert!
   Morris: And proud of it.

   Ryan: All I know is - after the race today - something just... clicked.
   Chelsea: Yeah, it's called a concussion.

   Sir Terence: Talk is cheap; money buys whiskey.

   Mr. Frank: Good afternoon, gentlemen. My name is Mr. Frank, and for the next sixty minutes you are my unwilling participants in a race for your life.

   Finch: Bring it, dickface.
   Mr. Frank: That's the spirit.

   Definitely deserves a good riffing

   Synopsis: A team of Parkour practitioners is abducted by the criminal Mr. Frank that puts remotely controlled necklaces with explosives around their necks to force them to participate in a millionaire gambling death race for their lives.
   Reasons
   Bad Acting (Brazilian Model Rebecca DeCosta)
   Poorly Edited
   Sean Faris looks eerily like a young Tom Cruise
   Cheezy stunts/effects
   Over the top bad guy played by Danny Dyer
   Low Budget
   Shot in Cleveland (that joke pretty much writes itself)
   Seymour Cassel

   trailer https://youtu.be/u4K4xbyRMIM

   imdb http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1579232/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

   Here's some quotes that were on imdb

   Gramps: Nothing great came from easy - except great sex… more

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5. Disney rides

   Riff disney and other theme park rides. Small world would actually be fun to go on. Plenty of rides to riff between disney and universal. The riff would only need to be 5-15 minutes each. Wouldn't even need to go to disney to write them cause plenty of people have uploaded all the rides in full on YouTube.

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6. Indian Superman (1987)

   I LIKE IT VERY MUCH https://youtu.be/5_8EtNaqIbI

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7. CBS Children's Film Festival: What Next? (1975)

   In honor of RiffTrax doing a MST3K Reunion Live, I'd thought I'd offer up some riffing material from the source which inspired the creation of MST3K in the first place: The CBS Children's Film Festival w/Kukla, Fran and Ollie.. or rather the short films they viewed with us back in the Sixties and Seventies..

   First a little referencing since one CBS CFF short was offered up here earlier: Winter of the Witch: http://ideas.rifftrax.com/forums/244244-rifftrax-movie-requests/suggestions/6939247-winter-of-the-witch-1969-short-film-narrated-by

   Now onto the first offering at hand.. What Next? And no this is not what Mike, Kevin and Bill would say as they head into RiffTrax HQ, but an interestingly little film about a boy would ends up getting psychic powers due to getting beaned on the head with newspapers.

   Yes, you heard me right, newspapers. For some reason in the Seventies, producers made young audiences think every day accidents, which could give you possibly a severe concussion, or slight brain damage, can somehow trigger ESP like abilities. But hey, it was the 70s.. so..

   Anyway, here's the spiel, Famille:

   Enter Donald, an average kid living in England, who is just going down to the shops to pick up his latest magazine, when his friends distract him long enough to get pelted with a newspaper delivery.

   (Man, and he falls down like a rock! What exactly were those papers made of? Thank Rassilon he wasn't there during Sunday's Edition, eh?)

   Anyway, his friends make some Captain Obvious statements about him being knocked out. As if the entire concept eludes them for some reason, where you want to say, 'Nah, kids, he's just resting his eyes because he received some bad news..' (Apologies, been hanging round Kevin and Bill too long.)

   Anyway, when Donald wakes up he suddenly goes into a trance (complete with echoesque, creepy voice) and chants a rhyme about two bicyclists colliding. Sure enough, the kids sit there and watch it happen in sheer amazement (must be a slow day in England, or The Doctor was busy doing something else.). Afterwards they ask Donald how did he know and he just shrugs saying he has a funny feeling and the title screen pops up as if you're watching a sitcom.. no, seriously, it does..

   Now as the film continues, Don and his friends are walking down the sidewalk, still grasping over the fact Don can now see things into the future. During which, he stops and predicts a man directly in front of them is going to steal a car. Naturally, he does without anyone doing anything, sort of like 'Oh, my, he's stealing a car, oh, well, nothing for it.' Then in one brief scene, we're treated to something that seems something more like a James Bond film than a kid's short, as the stolen vehicle is driven into a van, and they drive off.

   Back to Donald and his friends, so you don't forget what you're watching, where they are at his house explaining to his parents what has happened. As standard per films of this caliber, they are skeptical until Don predicts the father will receive twenty pounds. When it comes true, Dad decides they have a gold mine and wants Don to help him predict the races. (A Most Unusual Camera, anyone?)

   Meanwhile we briefly go back to the victim of the stolen car for some reason. Possibly to show that he can't understand why his car was stolen, and if you watch this clip, you'll be amiss as well..

   Back to Donald, he's having no luck getting his powers to activate, while his Dad is attempting to have him pick winners. Until they switch on the race and, lo and behold, Don's clairvoyance kicks in and picks the winner. Whereas his Mum, then believes Don can't just switch on his powers unless certain circumstances apply.

   In this case, Don can't do it unless there's a real need, or sees an image relating to the problem.

   Then here's where the real tailspin of this film occurs: Don's friends have been thinking about the recent crime wave hitting their town, and believe Don can help his Dad with dealing with it.

   Oh, yeah, did they forget to mention his Dad is a detective, who has hit on hard times because he can't solve this current crime wave? Imagine...

   Anyway, Dad decides he'll have Don help him with these cases, and remarkably he does, locating where stolen merchandise is at, and warning others before crimes occur. (Now, folks, please bear with me here, because I'm going by my stodgy memory, and haven't been able to locate a full copy of this short, and I'm piecing the obscure puzzle from this clip,)

   As expected, the criminals aren't happy because suddenly their schemes are being foiled, and they absolutely have NO IDEA how this is happening. They just assume dear old Dad has become an instant Sherlock Holmes.

   Now in a bizarre twist, you'd think Dad's boss-- the Constable-- would be happy with this result, but instead the Constable is uncharacteristically furious with Dad for solving these cases. Which makes Don and his friends suspect there's something rotten in Denmark (or in this case, a small town in England), and decide they'd better investigate.

   So now what was a nice film about a kid who can predict the future, it now gets transformed into a lost episode from Scooby-Doo... but without the talking dog and his friend..

   Neat film, huh? So why should RiffTrax take a stab at What Next? Well, here are three good reasons:

   (1) The Entire Premise Itself: As I said, the Seventies had weird ways for people to acquire their superpowers, from accidentally sticking a fork into a light socket, to accidentally consuming 'magic water (or brownies, whatever the case may be).' Or in this case, getting beaned on the head with something because you looked away for a moment. What's even funnier is the fact the villains have no clue about Don until he accidentally gives himself away as he's investigating the crimes himself.

   (2) The Classic 70s Logic/AntiLogic: One of the things I loved about 70s children's films was the producers apparently thought we were as dumb as bricks. Because What Next? is what you'll probably be screaming when you wonder how many cliches you can find, and suspect the kids from 'Drugs Are Like That,' are much more intelligent than Don's friends... and the villains for that matter.

   Besides his friends' 'Captain Obvious' moments, there are others: like why is it in Brit films, every other person appears as if they live in poverty, or semi-poverty. Then the major hilarious moment comes when Don 'disguises' himself by wearing a fedora, fake mustache and trenchcoat to fool the head boss behind the crimes. It almost works, too (!) until Don's power kicks in at a bad moment and blows his cover. (Doncha hate when that happens?)

   (3) Don's Power itself: When Don's ability kicks in, rather than do something mystical, like say when Peter Parker's eyes would flash, and you'd see a colour negative image when his Spider Sense would activate in that Spidey TV show, Don simply goes into a trance and speaks in verse, complete with resonating echo-like voice. (Yeah, like that doesn't get annoying fast..) Even more disturbing is how everyone accepts Don's power like its nothing.

   Overall, What Next is a hilarious film because of the sheer ridiculousness of it, but also how you can take a simple concept and spin it on its ear.

   Regrettably, I couldn't find a full version of the short itself, but YouTube has a clip, and if you can locate one, let me know guys because I'd like to see this one riffed by Mike, Kevin and Bill.. or even Mary Jo or Bridget.

   Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBVJC-XbDuA

   In honor of RiffTrax doing a MST3K Reunion Live, I'd thought I'd offer up some riffing material from the source which inspired the creation of MST3K in the first place: The CBS Children's Film Festival w/Kukla, Fran and Ollie.. or rather the short films they viewed with us back in the Sixties and Seventies..

   First a little referencing since one CBS CFF short was offered up here earlier: Winter of the Witch: http://ideas.rifftrax.com/forums/244244-rifftrax-movie-requests/suggestions/6939247-winter-of-the-witch-1969-short-film-narrated-by

   Now onto the first offering at hand.. What Next? And no this is not what Mike, Kevin and Bill would say as they head into RiffTrax HQ,… more

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8. Killing Cars

   This movie can't not be riffed on. I personally think it's more MST quality than rifftrax quality, but I'm old school.

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9. The Kingfisher Caper

   • The movie was made in South Africa during the apartheid era.
   • A pre-"NCIS" David McCallum plays the main bad guy.
   • Former child star Hayley Mills is the heroine.
   • The movie is in the public domain.

   http://www.allmovie.com/movie/the-kingfisher-caper-v27476
   https://retrofilmvault.com/listings/kingfisher-caper-the-1976/
   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073247/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
   https://youtu.be/obGeI7aDDIc

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10. airborne (1998)

    Steve Guttenberg as a action hero,,, nuff said

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82u_cEIvLMQ

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11. Fists of Fury

    Fists of Fury (English version of The Big Boss), starring Bruce Lee.
    It's a fantastic movie, yet still wreaks of cheese at every turn ("1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4" and plenty of other parts). You guys already did Fist of Fury (A.K.A. The Chinese Connection), so it won't be THAT much of a stretch to do.

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12. Pink Flamingos

    Pink Flamingos, Directed by John Waters, Starring Divine

    In one of the most family-friendly, feel-good movies ever made (not really), Babs Johnson (Divine) battles it out with Connie and Raymond Marble, to prove who the filthiest person alive is. This was the movie that put New Line on the map, and is so offensive that the trailers showed nothing from the movie at all.

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13. Desperate Living

    Desperate Living, Directed by John Waters
    Mink Stole at her best, forced to live in a town made of cardboard, after her maid accidentally kills her husband, by smothering him with her crotch.
    " I don't want no white man lookin' at my Tampax!"

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14. monster known as VD

    (short) The Monster Known as VD
    I found this gem as a special feature on an Ed Wood DVD. It's the top 10 oddest vintage sex-ed films I've seen. Here's the clip:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDCg2Va1Xvk

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15. Rottweiler (2004)

    It's a terrible sci-fi movie from 2004 where a man is pursued by a terminator like rottweiler.

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16. Diggstown
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17. White Comanche

    A TV budget western starring William Shatner. What more needs to be said?

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18. The Gods Must Be Crazy

    Well, tack on another 1980's film... and product placement.

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19. Simon King of the Witches

    This is BEGGING for a Rifftrax! It's late 60's early 70's with no seeable plot. A lead actor with the charisma of a garbage collector on a hot summer day. A young guy who's worried about his magical boner. A bit of female nudity, but one old gal who shakes her wrinkled butt....it's on Shout Channel, check it out!

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20. Mystic Nights and Pirate Fights

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138640/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1:

    Young Jonah Johnson and his family move into Mystic, CT. The town's local fisherman's son, Schooner, quickly befriends him and the two soon discover what seems to be a 300-year-old treasure map. The treasure of Captain Kidd that was lost in the town 3 decades earlier. While trying to evade the town's bullies, Jonah and Schooner keep their eye on Clive Steelway, a rich treasure-seeker who seems to have conniving plans for the treasure and the boys.

    Sample clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmG0sO9FR7M. And tumblr feed here: http://schoonerreacts.tumblr.com/.

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