In honor of RiffTrax doing a MST3K Reunion Live, I'd thought I'd offer up some riffing material from the source which inspired the creation of MST3K in the first place: The CBS Children's Film Festival w/Kukla, Fran and Ollie.. or rather the short films they viewed with us back in the Sixties and Seventies..

First a little referencing since one CBS CFF short was offered up here earlier: Winter of the Witch: http://ideas.rifftrax.com/forums/244244-rifftrax-movie-requests/suggestions/6939247-winter-of-the-witch-1969-short-film-narrated-by

Now onto the first offering at hand.. What Next? And no this is not what Mike, Kevin and Bill would say as they head into RiffTrax HQ, but an interestingly little film about a boy would ends up getting psychic powers due to getting beaned on the head with newspapers.

Yes, you heard me right, newspapers. For some reason in the Seventies, producers made young audiences think every day accidents, which could give you possibly a severe concussion, or slight brain damage, can somehow trigger ESP like abilities. But hey, it was the 70s.. so..

Anyway, here's the spiel, Famille:

Enter Donald, an average kid living in England, who is just going down to the shops to pick up his latest magazine, when his friends distract him long enough to get pelted with a newspaper delivery.

(Man, and he falls down like a rock! What exactly were those papers made of? Thank Rassilon he wasn't there during Sunday's Edition, eh?)

Anyway, his friends make some Captain Obvious statements about him being knocked out. As if the entire concept eludes them for some reason, where you want to say, 'Nah, kids, he's just resting his eyes because he received some bad news..' (Apologies, been hanging round Kevin and Bill too long.)

Anyway, when Donald wakes up he suddenly goes into a trance (complete with echoesque, creepy voice) and chants a rhyme about two bicyclists colliding. Sure enough, the kids sit there and watch it happen in sheer amazement (must be a slow day in England, or The Doctor was busy doing something else.). Afterwards they ask Donald how did he know and he just shrugs saying he has a funny feeling and the title screen pops up as if you're watching a sitcom.. no, seriously, it does..

Now as the film continues, Don and his friends are walking down the sidewalk, still grasping over the fact Don can now see things into the future. During which, he stops and predicts a man directly in front of them is going to steal a car. Naturally, he does without anyone doing anything, sort of like 'Oh, my, he's stealing a car, oh, well, nothing for it.' Then in one brief scene, we're treated to something that seems something more like a James Bond film than a kid's short, as the stolen vehicle is driven into a van, and they drive off.

Back to Donald and his friends, so you don't forget what you're watching, where they are at his house explaining to his parents what has happened. As standard per films of this caliber, they are skeptical until Don predicts the father will receive twenty pounds. When it comes true, Dad decides they have a gold mine and wants Don to help him predict the races. (A Most Unusual Camera, anyone?)

Meanwhile we briefly go back to the victim of the stolen car for some reason. Possibly to show that he can't understand why his car was stolen, and if you watch this clip, you'll be amiss as well..

Back to Donald, he's having no luck getting his powers to activate, while his Dad is attempting to have him pick winners. Until they switch on the race and, lo and behold, Don's clairvoyance kicks in and picks the winner. Whereas his Mum, then believes Don can't just switch on his powers unless certain circumstances apply.

In this case, Don can't do it unless there's a real need, or sees an image relating to the problem.

Then here's where the real tailspin of this film occurs: Don's friends have been thinking about the recent crime wave hitting their town, and believe Don can help his Dad with dealing with it.

Oh, yeah, did they forget to mention his Dad is a detective, who has hit on hard times because he can't solve this current crime wave? Imagine...

Anyway, Dad decides he'll have Don help him with these cases, and remarkably he does, locating where stolen merchandise is at, and warning others before crimes occur. (Now, folks, please bear with me here, because I'm going by my stodgy memory, and haven't been able to locate a full copy of this short, and I'm piecing the obscure puzzle from this clip,)

As expected, the criminals aren't happy because suddenly their schemes are being foiled, and they absolutely have NO IDEA how this is happening. They just assume dear old Dad has become an instant Sherlock Holmes.

Now in a bizarre twist, you'd think Dad's boss-- the Constable-- would be happy with this result, but instead the Constable is uncharacteristically furious with Dad for solving these cases. Which makes Don and his friends suspect there's something rotten in Denmark (or in this case, a small town in England), and decide they'd better investigate.

So now what was a nice film about a kid who can predict the future, it now gets transformed into a lost episode from Scooby-Doo... but without the talking dog and his friend..

Neat film, huh? So why should RiffTrax take a stab at What Next? Well, here are three good reasons:

(1) The Entire Premise Itself: As I said, the Seventies had weird ways for people to acquire their superpowers, from accidentally sticking a fork into a light socket, to accidentally consuming 'magic water (or brownies, whatever the case may be).' Or in this case, getting beaned on the head with something because you looked away for a moment. What's even funnier is the fact the villains have no clue about Don until he accidentally gives himself away as he's investigating the crimes himself.

(2) The Classic 70s Logic/AntiLogic: One of the things I loved about 70s children's films was the producers apparently thought we were as dumb as bricks. Because What Next? is what you'll probably be screaming when you wonder how many cliches you can find, and suspect the kids from 'Drugs Are Like That,' are much more intelligent than Don's friends... and the villains for that matter.

Besides his friends' 'Captain Obvious' moments, there are others: like why is it in Brit films, every other person appears as if they live in poverty, or semi-poverty. Then the major hilarious moment comes when Don 'disguises' himself by wearing a fedora, fake mustache and trenchcoat to fool the head boss behind the crimes. It almost works, too (!) until Don's power kicks in at a bad moment and blows his cover. (Doncha hate when that happens?)

(3) Don's Power itself: When Don's ability kicks in, rather than do something mystical, like say when Peter Parker's eyes would flash, and you'd see a colour negative image when his Spider Sense would activate in that Spidey TV show, Don simply goes into a trance and speaks in verse, complete with resonating echo-like voice. (Yeah, like that doesn't get annoying fast..) Even more disturbing is how everyone accepts Don's power like its nothing.

Overall, What Next is a hilarious film because of the sheer ridiculousness of it, but also how you can take a simple concept and spin it on its ear.

Regrettably, I couldn't find a full version of the short itself, but YouTube has a clip, and if you can locate one, let me know guys because I'd like to see this one riffed by Mike, Kevin and Bill.. or even Mary Jo or Bridget.

Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBVJC-XbDuA