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33 votes
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An error occurred while saving the comment The original post says much about it, but there's two more things.
1. This is a Cannon movie, so assume everything so far described is dialled up to the max.
2. This was made in 3D, so there is a massive amount of pointy things being very very pointy towards the camera - even when someone is offered a pen. -
50 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment File under "what the **** were they thinking?
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18 votes
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26 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment "If you think we are just two big dumb guys, you're wrong. We are two huge dumb guys!"
Two portions of be-mulletted sentient steak, the Barbarian Brothers specialise in a particular style of celluloid stupidity. If you thought 'Radical Jack' was impenetrably highbrow, a Barbarian Brothers movie will come as sweet relief.
While the other cast members aren't as musclebound, you get appearances phoned in by, amongst others, David "wankstrangle" Carradine, Jean-Claude van Damme...'s wife, Michael Winslow from Police Academy, Claudia Christian from Babylon 5, Richard Kiel, and OMG David Bowie! Oh, sorry, David Bowe. He was in PEN15 and one episode of The Larry Sanders Show, you know. Also Martin Mull and Richard Moll. Or was it Richard Mull and Martin Moll?
The story begins with the two lumpy oafs transporting toxic waste from Montana to Los Angeles, when an escaped teenage genius stows away on their rig. This girl has a McGuffin that can remotely control any electronic device. Wacky shenanigans ensue! Urghhh.
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154 votes
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215 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment There is a proud tradition among the MST3K alumni of riffing a Hercules movie every now and then, and this is so deserving.
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65 votes
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21 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment This, despite being from the "women in prison" genre, features plenty of heavage of cleavage, but a low actual nipple count, so it won't distress the riffers' delicate sensibilities (or require extensive black box work).
Nutso, scenery-chewing Warden Muffin is played by Dawn Wildsmith, who has a cinematic rap sheet including The Tomb, Cyclone, Polly Perverse strikes again, Future Force... okay, every movie on IMDB with her name attached sounds like a potential RiffTrax subject.
Is Star Slammer dumb, incompetent and predictable? Yes. Is it fun? Also yes.
And if you've ever wanted to see Ross Hagen (Sidehackers) get spanked by a druid, look no further.
Aldo Ray, who has acted with the likes of Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart, Rita Hayworth and Robert Z'Dar, even has a part, as does John Carradine. Of course John's in it. Whether he knew he was in it... well that's a whole 'nother question.
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22 votes
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51 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment This is a movie that needs mocking. The Paul brothers play the two dumbest slabs of greased meat in mullets ever to emerge from the age of sword'n'sorcery flicks. If you ever wondered why the dark ages lasted so long, it was because oafs like these were doing so much to hold back the Renaissance. It makes you run screaming to a screening of "Red Sonja", just for some more intellectually rigorous storytelling. And better dialogue.
They actually thought that doing seal impressions was so funny, they repeated it at different times in the plot. Yes, apparently, that was their input into the movie, which they came up with when combining both their brain cells.
Take the science of James Nguyen's "Replica", add the thudding earnestness of Sam Mraovich's "Ben and Arthur" and sub-"Tron" (in 2009!) computer graphics, chuck them in a lidless blender and try to make a semi-improvised sci-fi medical weepie out of the celluloid guacamole you find yourself scraping off the walls.
Be warned, chaps; you'll need your riff chops to be tip-top before you tackle this one, or it'll fall horribly flat. But the rewards for a good riffing are... ooh!
Check it out on YouTube: https://youtu.be/kOAZxkAyoy4