7496 results found

1. Aztec Rex

   The 2007 made for TV masterpiece starring Ian Ziering as Cortez.

   The Aztecs summon a poorly rendered 3D T-Rex to keep the conquistadors' at bay. Then it starts eating them all. Hot-dogs for entrails, horrible accents, and terrible costumes/sets. PRIME riffing material!

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   24 votes

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2. shock em dead

   More 80's heavy metal cheese in the form of "Shock 'Em Dead," where a nerd makes a deal with a voodoo priestess and becomes a rock star...But he also has to kill people to stay alive. Cast includes Traci Lords, Troy Donahue, and Aldo Ray. It even features a toe-tapping soundtrack including this gem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8lIbjjw20o

   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102910/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

   21 votes

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3. The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

   Welcome to another Fangarian suggestion for riffing from the Transylvanian Film Vaults. This one I dug up stars the director of 'Rosemary's Baby' himself, Roman Polanski.

   First off the actual title is 'The Fearless Vampire Killers or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are In My Neck.' (Good thing for us, 'Once Bitten' had not been produced back then, or Polanski would've probably given us an ENTIRELY different movie..)

   Mike: Fangarius...

   Oh, yes, where was I? The Fearless Vampire Killers.. well, the title pretty much says it all.. if Fearless means 'complete idiots going to Transylvania to disturb the vampires, when they should leave well enough alone..'

   Mainly because unlike the typical vamp films you see, where the vampire is going about giving deadly hickeys to everyone, transforming them into the undead.. (and not in the good way) which you'd think would summon expert vampire killers, like Captain Kronos, or Professor Von Goosewing... these guys instead -- believe it or not -- go directly to the source to find them some vampires.

   Now, why in the world would ANYONE do this -- let alone possibly that Terry guy from Man V. Monster -- when there are better things you could do.. like go and dig up some cadaver and put a criminally insane brain inside it, reanimate and unleash it on an unsuspecting village?

   Essentially because the two in-question happen to be Prof. Abronsius (ABRONSIUS?) and his assistant, Alfred. And as they approach a snow-laden, Transylvanian village, it turns out the Prof. was laughed out of his University for his dissertation about vampires, despite the fact he has several books on the topic, and has taken Alfred with him to go and kill one and bring it back to prove they do exist. Okay, an Eastern Europe village, but we all know it's Transylvania... then again.. it could be Texsylvania in Engima County, Texas, where the winters are.. no, that's where my uncle Dr. Peter Fangerstein lives in Castle Fangerstein.. so Transylvania it is...

   Apologies for digressing... anyway, so these two are warmly greeted by the natives, as they warm their feet, and such... until the Prof. inquires about the local castle owned by Count von Krolock (Krolock? Great Rassilon, who exactly comes up with these names?! oh, well..). Meanwhile Polanski decides to have Alfred (who he portrays) become smitten by the owners' daughter, Sarah (played by Sharon Tate). Everything appears okay, until one fateful night, Sarah, decides to take a bath and the vampire attacks (doncha hate when that happen?), and her father (played by Alfie Bass, who was on 'Are You Being Served?' which is coincidental because Frank Thornton also guest-starred in another vamp flick, 'Old Dracula') decides to go after the vampire himself and get his daughter back, because THAT'S always a good idea.

   As expected, they find the inn-keeper, deader than a doornail and frozen, with the wife yelling 'Oi,' over and over. Not screaming, 'Oh, God, he's dead!' or 'Damn, I told him NOT to go after the vampire.. which we allegedly don't have who resides in a castle that's not there...' (Yeah, that's the excuse they give the Prof.)

   Of course, the Prof. suspects this is not the case, and tell the inn-keeper's wife she has to drive a wooden stake into her husband's heart... but she thinks the Prof. is looney... that is until that night, her husband springs up from the table and leaves, freaking her out.

   Rather than issue a whole bunch of 'I told you sos,' to her, the Prof. and Alfred pursue the innkeeper to the Count's castle. Naturally they attempt to sneak in, only to come face to face with the Count. But rather than attack his guest, he instead is rather a hospitable vampire who gets into a discussion with the Prof. about bats (apparently the excuse they use to explain why they came to his castle in the first place). Even funnier is when they meet the Count's son, Herbert (wow, a vampire called Herbert, who knew?)

   Anyway, after some wild hijinks in the castle, the two find Sarah and discover she's not been a vampire feast, but do discover the reason why Von Krolock has been so hospitable... apparently he has been preparing for the annual Vampire Ball and Sarah, the Prof. and Alfred are the main course (as if you didn't see this coming).

   Naturally our trio decide they will disguise themselves as the guests and dance their way out of the hall... but are betrayed by the mirror.. you know, humans cast reflections but vampires don't... utilizing another vampire warding off schtick, the group manages to escape..

   That is, until the Prof is oblivious to the fact Sarah is no longer quite the same as she was before...

   There's the deal, Flamille, and now we'll come to the reasons, why, despite this being a comedy of sorts, why this gem really needs to be riffed excruciatingly..

   (1) The Hilarious Reactions of Alfred and the Prof.: Basically what makes the film really unique against the other is the fact the so-called 'vampire hunter' appears clueless to most things. Esp. when Alfred's attempting to tell him when danger's about.. Case in point, when Alfred takes a peek into Sarah's bathroom and sees her being attacked by the vampire, the reaction he makes is quite hilarious, even more so when he's trying to tell the Prof. about the unexpected visitor, he doesn't realize it until after the Count has made off with his victim.

   (2) The Strange Combination of Period Accuracy and Modern Times in this Film: I'll be honest with you, with most vamp flicks, usually you'll see some bit of anachronism creep in when they attempt to do it in the Past.. but Polanski actually does keep mostly with the timeframe. One interesting moment is when you see the Prof. utilizing the art of moxibustion by having Alfred apply 'flame bulbs' upon his mentor's back as a means of alleviating his back problems.

   Whereas also at the same instance, Polanski sneaks in a modern touch with the old vampire genre by having the Count's son, Herbert, being gay as he takes a great interest in Alfred. One of the most hilarious scene is when he appears and hits on Alfred due to a courting book Alfred is reading. Of course, when Alfred notices Herbert lacks a reflection, he realizes he needs to get the hell out of dodge, as the book inadvertently saves Alfred's life, and a wild chase scene ensues with him and Herbert, with the Prof. saving him at the last moment.

   (3) Another strange vampire myth comes to light, and no, I don't mean the whole sparkling thing in sunlight. Early in the film, Sarah is scolded for apparently bathing because for some reason it will attract vampires. Never suspected vampires to want their victims clean, but they never explain why this is a problem, nor if this legend is true why would you tempt fate?

   Overall this is a hilarious film for the fact that we see our heroes get out of scrapes through practically blind luck than anything else, and while Alfred would like to do the smart thing and get the hell out of Transylvania.. the Prof. continues trekking on... despite the risk.. and rather than actually, you know, KILL the vampires, as the title indicates, they just annoy them as they presumably rescue the victim.. and they even manage to botch that up... oh, well, you can't win them all, I suppose.

   But this would definitely be an excellent film for riffing, either through VOD or possibly part of the Kickstarter Live campaign... would love RiffTrax and some of the former MSTie crew to tackle this one..

   So, whaddya think sirs?

   Here's the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Ciz1G_Zm0

   And the chase scene with Herbert: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6IQwOSlVkg

   Not to mention the title here... and a scene

   Welcome to another Fangarian suggestion for riffing from the Transylvanian Film Vaults. This one I dug up stars the director of 'Rosemary's Baby' himself, Roman Polanski.

   First off the actual title is 'The Fearless Vampire Killers or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are In My Neck.' (Good thing for us, 'Once Bitten' had not been produced back then, or Polanski would've probably given us an ENTIRELY different movie..)

   Mike: Fangarius...

   Oh, yes, where was I? The Fearless Vampire Killers.. well, the title pretty much says it all.. if Fearless means 'complete idiots going to Transylvania to disturb the vampires, when… more

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   38 votes

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4. murder by death

   Murder by Death is a 1976 mystery-comedy, featuring Eileen Brennan, Truman Capote, James Coco, Peter Falk, Alec Guinness, Elsa Lanchester, David Niven, Peter Sellers, Maggie Smith, Nancy Walker, and Estelle Winwood. It is hokey and has all the inappropriate racist and sexist humour you expect out of a 1976 film.

   7 votes

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5. Mad Max: Fury Road

   This year, something extraordinary happened, something that would shake the film industry to the very core, something that made filmgoers question if pigs had begun to fly and if Hell had frozen over:

   A Fourth-quel was released to a dated '70s/'80s icon, and it was not only critically acclaimed, but also beloved by feminists, reviled by misogynists, and even made hardcore not want to kill themselves.

   In other words, a miracle.

   That doesn't mean it isn't silly, though, and among the silliness is a main villain with a horse-teeth mask wearing fake plastic muscles, a tribe of people whose vehicles are covered in spikes, a gang of elderly biker ladies, an army of shirtless young men who have painted themselves completely white, Charlize Theron with a (mostly) shaved head, and a vehicle whose sole purpose is to house four drummers on one end and a man playing a flame-throwing electric guitar on the other end.

   So, a typical day in Australia.

   I would very much like to witness you guys riffing this instant classic, yet very silly, action movie, and maybe we can all finally get...

   ...BEYOND THUNDERDOME!

   This year, something extraordinary happened, something that would shake the film industry to the very core, something that made filmgoers question if pigs had begun to fly and if Hell had frozen over:

   A Fourth-quel was released to a dated '70s/'80s icon, and it was not only critically acclaimed, but also beloved by feminists, reviled by misogynists, and even made hardcore not want to kill themselves.

   In other words, a miracle.

   That doesn't mean it isn't silly, though, and among the silliness is a main villain with a horse-teeth mask wearing fake plastic muscles, a tribe of people whose vehicles… more

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   171 votes

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6. The Grey

   A friend of mine asked if you guys had done this movie after hearing me talk about it. I laughed at this movie from the beginning to the end.

   25 votes

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7. The Pack (1977)

   Joe Don Baker takes on a bunch of rabid dogs nuff said.

   104 votes

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8. Transmorphers

   Watched this movie on Netflix, it was so bad I immediately thought it should be a rifftrax.

   32 votes

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9. san andreas (2015)

   In the aftermath of a massive earthquake in California, a rescue-chopper pilot makes a dangerous journey with his ex-wife across the state in order to rescue his daughter.

   156 votes

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10. Lost TV Pilot: Starstruck (1979)

    From the Fangarian ChronoSpheric Vault: I submit to you a bizarre little plot called 'Starstruck.'

    Thanks to films like 'Star Wars' and 'Star Trek: The Motion Picture,' television was endlessly being assaulted with sci-fi specials and plots. And as the RiffTrax crew has shown from The Star Wars Holiday Special, just because you have a well-established franchise/genre as the basis, it doesn't mean entertainment gold.

    With the success of 'Buck Rogers in the 25th Century,' (whereas its second season was just a Star Trek knockoff) networks deluged the airwaves with constant sci-fi plots, regardless of whether it made sense or not.

    One such case was with CBS, not daunted by the flop known as 'The Star Wars Holiday Special,' they decided to concoct this little known disaster known as Starstruck.

    From the intro, you wonder what really makes it sci-fi because they propel all the way back to the days of the pilgrims, up to modern day to explain the show itself.

    Basically a family decides they've had enough of the modern world and decide after attempting to live on the Moon, they will live in space, running sort of a Space Stop for traveling ships. (Makes you wonder if they ever came across the Satellite of Love, eh?)

    Anyway it was sort of a failed sitcom because of the fact it attempts to cash in more of the Star Wars craze, but doesn't make a lick of any real sense whatsoever.

    So why does RiffTrax need to riff this, even if it is a sitcom?

    1) The strange mash-up premise: Not sense NBC once considered a Flintstones-Star Wars send up (no really), Starstruck comes off with a combination with western homesteaders in space. Even the main character is wearing clothes you might find from the 17th Century. (Probably suspect this was due to the mainstay of Sci-Fi Hero wardrobes in the 70s, remember Jason of Star Command?)

    2)Incessant need of alien costumes and an Irish speaking android. One thing I always thought was funny, as with TSWHS Catina scene, apparently produces presumed unless you had people in Sid & Marty Krofft costumes posing as aliens, you have absolutely NO IDEA you're in space. Surely not from the light star scene outside, nor the cutscenes showing space craft. At times you'll wonder if you're really watching a sci-fi sitcom, or just a lost episode of the Muppet Show.

    3) Inexplicable subplots: What really killed this show was the fact you can hardly follow what's going on in this intergalactic station. In fact, the only thing I could make out was a villain terrorizing the place, and the main character fighting him in zero gravity (I guess), with his family looking on, then applauding him when he wins.

    Overall one wonders what the CBS execs were thinking when they greenlighted this pilot, but it interesting to see how many ways you can have a show set in space. This is one I'd love to see the RiffTrax Crew, either the guys or Mary Jo and Bridget, tackle this one, despite the laughtrack.

    Because even though it's supposed to be a comedy, it's not a very good one and oddly makes TSWHS look better for some reason.

    Here's a YouTube video for you to judge:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPLEoZ1TtZM

    From the Fangarian ChronoSpheric Vault: I submit to you a bizarre little plot called 'Starstruck.'

    Thanks to films like 'Star Wars' and 'Star Trek: The Motion Picture,' television was endlessly being assaulted with sci-fi specials and plots. And as the RiffTrax crew has shown from The Star Wars Holiday Special, just because you have a well-established franchise/genre as the basis, it doesn't mean entertainment gold.

    With the success of 'Buck Rogers in the 25th Century,' (whereas its second season was just a Star Trek knockoff) networks deluged the airwaves with constant sci-fi plots, regardless of whether it made sense or… more

    5 votes

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11. Northville cemetery massacre

    This is a horrible movie from the 70s signaling (or perhaps causing) the end of the outlaw biker genre for that era. Not one big name in the movie yet the music was written by Michael Nesmith. Who may wonder how he was convinced to allow his name to be used.

    9 votes

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12. Earth Star Voyager

    Made for TV movie from the 80s about kids flying in space to find a new planet to live on.

    17 votes

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13. Slaughterhouse

    80's cheese at it's finest.

    Lester Bacon:

    "You helped me start my meat business, we watched it grow and we watched it die!"

    "You young hot dogs are all alike."

    "30% fat Harold! Men like him are clogging up our young peoples arteries!"

    All that and an implicit bastard child of a pig.

    6 votes

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14. zootopia

    Join Judy Hopps along with Mike, Kevin and Bill as they solve a mystery and make you crack up.

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    6 votes

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15. Gods of Egypt

    This cinematic abomination's budget was about $140 million. Imagine all the highway potholes that could have been filled with that money.

    45 votes

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16. Zardoz

    I realize it was declined but it's not as sleazy as Showgirls let alone as bad as most of John Boorman's other films.

    It's got Sean Connery embarrassing himself pre-Highlander, a religion as pretentious as the Scientology themes in Battlefield Earth and has enough bizarre moments to make anyone want to cry out for RiffTrax support.

    126 votes

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17. Last of the Summer Wine

    Google it. I swear I'm not high. Do the one where Compo goes down the hill in the bath. Yea this show was ultra popular in England

    17 votes

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18. Revolt of The Zombies

    On the Franco-Austrian Frontier during WW I, an oriental priest, chaplain of a French colonial regiment, is condemned to life imprisonment because he possesses the power of turning men into zombies. As the priest,in his prison cell, is preparing to burn the parchment containing the location of the secret formula, Colonel Mazovia kills the priest and takes the partially-burned parchment. Fade to after the war to an expedition of representatives from all the Allied countries (only those with colonial interests it appears) being sent to Cambodia to find and destroy forever the Secret of the Zombies. The group includes Colonel Mazovia (somewhat akin to sending the fox to guard the hen house); a student of dead languages, Armand Louque; Englishman Clifford Grayson; and General Duval and his daughter Claire. Armand falls in love with Claire, who accepts his proposal of marriage in order to spite Clifford whom she really loves. Later, when Claire, following an accident, runs to Cliff for comfort, Armand breaks the engagement, leaving her free to marry Cliff. Further accidents, caused by Mazovia, results in the natives refusing to work and the expedition returns to Pnom Penh. Armand fins a clue which he had overlooked before and returns to Angkor against orders. After viewing an ancient ceremony at the temple, Armand follows one of the servants of the high priest out of the temple, through a swamp, to a bronze doorway. When the servant leaves, Armand goes through the door to a room paneled in bronze, with an idol holding a gong in one hand in the middle of the room. He accidentally strikes the gong, and a panel in the wall opens revealing a small metal tablet. He translates the inscription and realizes that it is the secret for which they have all been looking. He alone now has the power to make zombies out of people, beginning with a practice run on his servant before taking up that little matter of the fickle Claire. Armand is not one to be trifled with.
    This movie uses the stock footage of Bela Lugosi's eyes from white zombie unfortunately Bela not appearing in this movie except that. So let's see rifftrax rip this movie.

    On the Franco-Austrian Frontier during WW I, an oriental priest, chaplain of a French colonial regiment, is condemned to life imprisonment because he possesses the power of turning men into zombies. As the priest,in his prison cell, is preparing to burn the parchment containing the location of the secret formula, Colonel Mazovia kills the priest and takes the partially-burned parchment. Fade to after the war to an expedition of representatives from all the Allied countries (only those with colonial interests it appears) being sent to Cambodia to find and destroy forever the Secret of the Zombies. The group includes Colonel… more

    16 votes

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19. Jane and the Lost City

    One of our favorite Rifftrax is "The Prisoners of the Lost Universe". Written and directed by one Terry Marcel. The same person that brought us Hawk the Slayer (a bit of useless trivia the actors that play Malachi and The Greenman star in both). So on Friday I stumbled on another film written and directed by our old pal: Jane and the Lost City.

    This movie is available to be streamed on YouTube in its entirety. And oh my is this a stinker. The main character, Jane, loses her clothes (but not her undergarments) about every 5 minutes for no good reason. I guess this is supposed to be titillating? The main plot is Jane and "The Colonel" are trying to find the The Lost City because of its rumored diamond riches to help fund Britain's war effort during WWII. The Nazi's lead by Maude Adams get wind of this and the race is on. Not to far in Sam Jones, playing a Rootin' Tootin' stereotype...err American jungle explorer joins our British heroes mission to find the diamonds before the Nazi's do. That's right folks, IT'S FLASH GORDON VS. OCTOPUSSY!

    The movie is full of physical comedy that falls very flat. 1 dimensional stereotypical characters are the norm here. The same composer as PotLU and HtS is responsible for this outing. So expect something that sounds like frumpy keyboard samples. Though no Kung Fu pan flute like we had in HtS. Malachi's theme from PotLU is recycled for the blundering Nazi stooge. Because you know that was so amazing it needed another opportunity to be heard. In true Terry fashion the cave-bar owner with the cockney vulture from PotLU makes an appearance here as a drunken bar patron. Though no teeth pulling in this outing.

    So all in all another fine entry from our pal Terry. To say this is ripe for riffing is an understatement.

    One of our favorite Rifftrax is "The Prisoners of the Lost Universe". Written and directed by one Terry Marcel. The same person that brought us Hawk the Slayer (a bit of useless trivia the actors that play Malachi and The Greenman star in both). So on Friday I stumbled on another film written and directed by our old pal: Jane and the Lost City.

    This movie is available to be streamed on YouTube in its entirety. And oh my is this a stinker. The main character, Jane, loses her clothes (but not her undergarments) about every 5 minutes for no… more

    24 votes

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20. Leonard Part 6

    "A secret agent [Cosby] is called out of retirement to save the world from an evil genius." Three excellent and indisputable reasons to pick this one:

    1.) 9% Tomatometer rating; it's gawd-awful.

    2.) It stars Bill Cosby. For obvious, currently-making-headlines-worldwide reasons, you cannot possibly convince me (or anyone else) that there's no comedic potential in riffing the holy living bejeesus out of Bill "Bad Touch" Cosby, right now.

    3.) Also stars MST3K favorite Joe Don (MITCHELL) Baker!!!

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    260 votes

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    13 comments  ·  Delete…  ·  Admin →