Okay, this short...if the droll mother narrating and the oddly, freakishly happy boy dressed as a cowboy doesn't convince you, then the creepy, slightly emo six foot tall bar of soap named Soapy, The Germ Fighter should seal the deal! As an added bonus, you get dire warnings about germs, odd stock footage, a little girl being ravaged by an overly loving puppy, and the stern decree that girls should wash their hair at least once every two weeks. As for me, I can't resist the "health officer" in the fitted suit and fedora and who looks like he walked straight out of film noir central casting

This is a training film for germophobes, no doubt!

Honestly, I was surprised you haven't done this yet!

ps. since Soapy the Germ Fighter is translucent, shouldn't he be called the Ghost of Soapy the Germ Fighter?

https://archive.org/details/soapy_the_germ_fighter

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084316/

Megaforce (or MegaForce), is an action film made in 1982 directed by former stuntman Hal Needham. The film starred Barry Bostwick, Persis Khambatta, Michael Beck, Edward Mulhare, Evan C. Kim, Ralph Wilcox, and Henry Silva.

Everyone is wearing spandex jumpsuits, have wild hair, ride motorcycles and cars that look like they were rejected by Battlestar Galactica. The acting is way over the top, and the heros look like they just finished filming the "Let's Get Physical" video for Olivia Newton John.

It starts Barry Bostwick and Persis Khambatta. This is enough right there to push it to the top of the list. But adding Henry Silva as the heavy? Pure Riffing Gold.

Gymkata is a 1985 martial arts film starring Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas as Jonathan Cabot, an Olympic gymnast who combines his gymnastic ability with martial arts to enter a deadly competition in a fictional country, Parmistan. The reason for this is 2 fold, so when he wins he can allow the USA to set up a station within the countries borders and to find out what happened to his father, who competed last year and is know missing.

This movie is full of funny technical errors and bad acting, besides of course the crazy premise and rather off use of a gymnastic floor routine as a martial art. I will let the movies trailer show you just how funny this one is... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Mkl9rtttog

Back in the late 70s, a small, little-known film called "Alien" was released. I'm not sure how it fared at the box office. I never heard about it again. However, some sad movie executive in Hollywood MUST have heard about it, because they took a B-level zombie film called "The Dark" and immediately -- in mid-production -- changed it into a film about an alien. The resulting shift in direction is so subtle as to be almost imperceptible -- if you're Mr. Magoo.

Fast-forward to 1:24:09 to hear a bent bar make the same sound as Scooby-Doo biting down on a bone. Fast-forward to 1:24:32, and you WON'T believe that a boy can fly... and subsequently explode.

Please riff this film. It may be society's only chance to redeem this piece of cinematic offal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koQLyLFpwxI

This film is an absolute mess in all the greatest ways. Directed by one "Michael J. Paradise" and starring such names as John Huston, Shelley Winters, and Sam Peckinpah, The Visitor is at a confluence of genres, taking 'inspiration' from beloved late 70's sci-fi and horror films in ways that are as shameless as they are baffling.

Witness an intergalactic struggle between good and evil as an eight year old girl tries to coerce her mother into getting pregnant.

Thrill in amazement at John Huston's theme music, which plays literally every time he comes on screen, no matter what his character is (or isn't) doing.

Scratch your head in confusion at the apparent lack of consequence for any particular scene or character.

And laugh - laugh heartily at the poor editing, the nonsensical plot, the mashed up psychedelic imagery, and the ever alarming displays of misogyny.

THE VISITOR, PRESENTED IN GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR

Because nobody ever gets tired of AT-AT action and Stormtroopers, Lucas has come through with another film! Finn has apparently gotten a promotion, given his snazzy black coat (hey, at least it's not the jacket) and fights with Phasma. Rey trains with Luke so she can do... stuff. Kylo Ren throws another tantrum. Chewbacca and BB-8 co-pilot along with another creature that's sure to give us cheesy, predictable humor. Poe is just as Han Solo-ish as ever (well, not really). Leia observes. And Snoke? That Gollum/Voldemort twin has the most hilarious predicament at the soft serve ice cream machine!- just kidding. He probably just sits around and coughs.

Two terrified Earthlings are mistakenly transported to the eerie world of Vonya where they must find the hidden Dimensional Door, or perish in the attempt.
A scientist's teleportation device rips a hole in space that leads to another dimension! A bizarre series of accidents sends inventor Dr. Hartmann, beautiful TV reporter Carrie Madison, and martial arts champ Dan through time and into a violent world of swords, warlords and blood-sucking subterranean monsters. Dan's fighting skill's won't be much help after Dr. Hartmann, posing as a wizard, strikes an alliance with Malachi, the barbarian chief, buying his own safety with gifts of powerful "magic" never before seen in this primitive realm - gunpowder and nitroglycerin!
-oldies.com

"I'd rather be doing Shakespeare instead of this crap, but I have a house payment due next week."
-Richard Hatch (Star of: Prisoners of the Lost Universe)

Starring Erik Estrada! The movie opens with him naked with a roasted chicken about to negotiate with some overacty goons holding up a bank. LOTS of people get killed or their face are melted like crayons (literally) because of the Lightblast machine... I have seen it many times and can't explain the plot. We see Erik drive every vehicle possible and not even wince too much when his girlfriend is killed in front of him. In one scene she is wearing a shirt that has a picture of them together on it- I believe it's her pajamas. Need I explain more?