7496 results found

1. deathmoon

   Starring Robert (I'll Make Any Cheesy Horror Movie You Throw At Me) Foxworth, this TV movie from 1978 lurches wonderfully along like a lycanthropic Magum PI. Foxworth plays an overworked man who begins to have unsettling dreams. Taking a vacation to a Hawaiian resort, he discovers that the sins of his ancestors have been passed down to him as a blood curse. Under the full moon, he turns into a werewolf who chews his way through the resort's guests before a final confrontation in a lonely jungle hideaway.

   Also with Joe Perry, Charles Said, and Mystie-favorite France Nuyen.

   Reasons for a ribald riffing?

   1. Watching this film is like a tiki party/beach film gone so horribly, horribly wrong.

   2.. Lots of hipster, swingin' '70s lingo.

   1. One of the worst werewolves ever put on film. As a bonus, the film is completely out of circulation, so it may be cheap to acquire.
      

   Here are some photos

   Starring Robert (I'll Make Any Cheesy Horror Movie You Throw At Me) Foxworth, this TV movie from 1978 lurches wonderfully along like a lycanthropic Magum PI. Foxworth plays an overworked man who begins to have unsettling dreams. Taking a vacation to a Hawaiian resort, he discovers that the sins of his ancestors have been passed down to him as a blood curse. Under the full moon, he turns into a werewolf who chews his way through the resort's guests before a final confrontation in a lonely jungle hideaway.

   Also with Joe Perry, Charles Said, and Mystie-favorite France Nuyen.

   Reasons for… more

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   16 votes

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2. Annie (2014)

   When it was announced that the classic musical would be remade in 2014 with a black Annie and Daddy Warbucks, there was a huge backlash from the totally-not-racist corners of the internet. So sad that they couldn't look past Hard-to-spell-name Wallace's skin color and see that there were a host of legitimate reasons to think this movie was awful:

   -The movie tries way, WAY too card to be cool and hip and modern and into what the kids like, to the point that Poochie would be telling them to tone it down. The songs are given a heavy dose of auto-tune and post-production, even with actors who can sing like Jamie Foxx, and every one is accompanied by a wink-at-the-camera joke about how weird it is that the characters are breaking into song, even though IT'S A FUCKING MUSICAL.

   -Jamie Foxx as Daddy Wa--sorry, Will Stacks, a mayoral candidate who is a wholly unlikable character: he's selfish, egotistical, greedy, and hates other people, especially if they're homeless. Nothing about him comes across as someone who you want to root for, and he's so vile that we all know he's only going to warm up to Annie because that's how the musical goes.

   -Cameron Diaz as Miss Hannigan does something I didn't think was possible: she plays Miss Hannigan TOO BROADLY. She chews the scenery like she's got an eating disorder, which is even more head-scratching when the movie tries to make her sympathetic by giving her a backstory where she got kicked out of C&C Music Factory right before their big break, leading to her reform in the film's climax.

   -Annie can't read...which rips more holes in the plot than there are in the soles of her shoes. If Annie can't read, how did she read the restaurant receipt with the message from her parents? How did she read the document from the social worker the used to search for her parents? And how did HER TEACHERS not notice?! So many plotholes, and not a single one of them needed to exist, because this is a completely pointless subplot that adds nothing to the movie.

   It's sad when the Twilight parody in your movie is more appealing than the movie itself.

   If you need more convincing, here's the Musical Hell review:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCh8KG8i8R8

   When it was announced that the classic musical would be remade in 2014 with a black Annie and Daddy Warbucks, there was a huge backlash from the totally-not-racist corners of the internet. So sad that they couldn't look past Hard-to-spell-name Wallace's skin color and see that there were a host of legitimate reasons to think this movie was awful:

   -The movie tries way, WAY too card to be cool and hip and modern and into what the kids like, to the point that Poochie would be telling them to tone it down. The songs are given a heavy dose of… more

   27 votes

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3. Horror House on Highway 5

   Weird, surreal slasher movie with a killer who runs around in a Nixon mask, a Velma from Scooby Doo-like final girl, a guy wandering around with a rake embedded in his head, and two demented brothers who play some sort of role in the killer's plans.

   The movie has a copyright date from the 80s, but looks to have been filmed in the 70s. And yes Virginia, there is a Horror House on Highway 6.

   20 votes

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4. Killing American Style

   The DVD cover includes the following phrases:
   "FROM THE DIRECTOR OF SAMURAI COP"
   "THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF KILLINGS THE BEST IS AMERICAN STYLE"
   "ROBERT Z'DAR".

   35 votes

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5. Sea Spiders [1932]

   Riff this short from 1932 ... a user on imdb says "We visit Tahiti, where small two-person boats are called sea spiders. Nature's bounty is everywhere: fish easy to spear, fruit ripe for gathering, and coconuts waiting for export. We watch the copra harvest. A child dances. Men dive for octopus. One stays down too long and must be rescued. Another's leg is grabbed by a huge clam, and he summons help with a rope tied to a sea spider where a friend sits. Calm restored, the sun sets on paradise."

   see it @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjEb2b_pcQA

   20 votes

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6. Fatal Pulse (1988)

   Sorority house slasher movie starring the everpresent Joe Estevez... sorry Joe Phelan?

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iADok5JuHs
   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095140/combined

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   23 votes

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7. Gladiformers (2007)

   One hour epically terrible knockoff of Transformers.

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6yfNNKjlM
   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2691534/combined

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   19 votes

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8. Crowhaven Farm (1970)

   In the tradition of made for T.V. scary movies, Crowhaven Farm is the story of a woman and her artist husband who go to live in the country, but there's weird things happening. John Carradine is the creepy groundskeeper, and there's a little girl that's just odd. In the end, freaking everybody this woman knows (besides her husband) is a ghost creature from the old days. Oh, and there's a surprise party.

   13 votes

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9. The Cavern (2005)

   A craptacular straight to DVD spelunking horror film that came out to exploit the success of two actually successful spelunking based horror films released the same year: The Descent and The Cave
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvO1SU7IQ3k
   http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0451262/combined

   10 votes

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10. The Search for Solutions

    This was a series of educational movies on the value of mathematics, hosted by Stacy Keach. I think it might have been part of a Community Service sentence.

    6 votes

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11. The Four Skulls of Johnathan Drake (1959)

    A British bad guy, a cop, and a guy that looks like a cross between Vadinho from Puma Man and the Ma and Pa Kettle Indians, only he has grass on his chin and he doesn't speak. Can be seen on Comet TV.

    20 votes

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12. Steal AKA Riders (2002)

    Because 90s Xtreme sports will never go out of style and become awkwardly dated ... at best.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qODRdQhM604
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282552/combined

    9 votes

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13. Pooh's Adventures
    9 votes

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14. Down On Us aka Beyond The Doors

    Were Morrison, Joplin, and Hendrix's deaths part of a vast conspiracy? Probably not....

    9 votes

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15. Missile Base at Taniak (1966)

    Feature version of the 1953 Republic serial "Canadian Mounties vs. Atomic Invaders," edited and released as a feature to television in 1966.
    If the Canadian Mounties can't defeat atomic invaders, then I have to ask, who can? Who?

    19 votes

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16. Two Lost Worlds (1951)

    When the American clipper ship "The Queen" is attacked by pirates off the Hebrides in 1830, Mate Kirk Hamilton is injured and must be put ashore at Queensland Colony, Australia, for treatment and recuperation. There, he meets and falls in love with Elaine Jeffries, daughter of the magistrate and all-but-fiancée to rancher Martin Shannon. She also finds herself attracted to Kirk, and a rivalry develops between the two men. Meantime the pirates, led by Captain Hackett, decide to raid the colony and, in the process kidnap Elaine and her friend, Nancy. Kirk and Shannon lead the pursuit, having not only the romantic triangle to resolve but the pirates to overcome and, along the way, being stranded on a volcanic island inhabited by dinosaurs... - Written by Rich Wannen
    Matt Dillon goes to Jurassic Park.

    When the American clipper ship "The Queen" is attacked by pirates off the Hebrides in 1830, Mate Kirk Hamilton is injured and must be put ashore at Queensland Colony, Australia, for treatment and recuperation. There, he meets and falls in love with Elaine Jeffries, daughter of the magistrate and all-but-fiancée to rancher Martin Shannon. She also finds herself attracted to Kirk, and a rivalry develops between the two men. Meantime the pirates, led by Captain Hackett, decide to raid the colony and, in the process kidnap Elaine and her friend, Nancy. Kirk and Shannon lead the pursuit, having not only… more

    19 votes

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17. Retik, the Moon Menace (1966 TV Movie)

    Commando Cody, a scientist-adventurer who has developed a flying-rocket jet pack which enables him to soar through the skies, encounters aliens from the moon intent on taking over Earth in this feature-length reediting of the serial 'Radar Men From the Moon (1952)'.
    - Written by Jim Beaver

    19 votes

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18. Nabonga (1944)

    When a treasure hunter seeks a downed airplane in the jungles of Africa, he encounters one of the passenger's young daughter, now fully grown, and with a gorilla protector.
    The gorilla was formally employed as a bouncer at a well known trendy New York nightclub before they filed for bankruptcy.
    When life gives you bananas...

    19 votes

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19. Subspecies (1991), etc....

    Five movie series by terror house, Full Moon Studios. Sorry, I meant terrible outhouse, Full Moon Studios.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subspecies_(film_series)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnVsPJm-TII&list=PLzSaABvhwN1Nn9n5F39XQyGFU9ebZsKus

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    18 votes

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20. Man Made Monster

    "Big Dan" McCormick is the sole survivor of a bus crash into hydro lines. 5 others were electrocuted. Intrigued by Dan's apparent immunity to electricity, Dr. John Lawrence, distinguished elector-biologist, asks Dan to visit him at his laboratory, where Lawrence's assistant, Dr. Paul Rigas, is secretly conducting experiments to prove his theory that human life can be motivated and controlled by electricity. Rigas persuades Dan to submit to tests, where Dan absorbs increasingly powerful charges until he develops an amazing degree of immunity, and becomes a walking hulk of electricity. Rigas does a final test of pouring a tremendous charge into Dan's body, and Dan becomes superhuman and his body glows. He is also a robot that is controlled by Rigas. When Lawrence tries to stop the experiment, Rigas orders Dan to kill him. Rigas removes the electricity from Dan's body and he becomes a shrunken shell. Despite the efforts of June Meredith, Lawrence's niece, and newspaper reporter Mark ... Written by Les Adams
    Lon Chaney Jr. really turns up his acting wattage in this highly charged thriller.
    SORRY!

    "Big Dan" McCormick is the sole survivor of a bus crash into hydro lines. 5 others were electrocuted. Intrigued by Dan's apparent immunity to electricity, Dr. John Lawrence, distinguished elector-biologist, asks Dan to visit him at his laboratory, where Lawrence's assistant, Dr. Paul Rigas, is secretly conducting experiments to prove his theory that human life can be motivated and controlled by electricity. Rigas persuades Dan to submit to tests, where Dan absorbs increasingly powerful charges until he develops an amazing degree of immunity, and becomes a walking hulk of electricity. Rigas does a final test of pouring a tremendous charge… more

    20 votes

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    0 comments  ·  Delete…  ·  Admin →