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Please, oh please, riff this one! I remember watching it in elementary school in the 90s. It's beautifully terrible.
From Wikipedia:
"Storylords is a 1984 live-action instructional television series shown on educational and PBS member stations [with episodes that] focus on building reading comprehension strategies through the use of fantasy.
"The storyline consists of a young boy named Norbert [and later his sister Mandy] who has been apprenticed by Lexor—an old Storylord from the land of Mojuste—to defend Mojuste's citizens against the wicked Storylord, Thorzuul [and his chauffeur Milkbreath]. Thorzuul seeks to turn all of those who can't understand what they read into stone statues for his collection.
"[Norbert] then travels to Mojuste via the 'Bike-o-Tron' (a magical stationary exercise bike in his garage), while chanting:
"'Thunder and Lightning, Trumpets and Drums, Readers Rejoice, A Storylord Comes!'"
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7 votesE11i3N0R
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*Gasp*! I totally remember watching this on TV as a kid.
This is a must-riff! It's got the kid from the Stuart Little movies, the guy who played Mr. Carson on Downton Abbey, the Borg Queen, Susan from the Chronicles of Narnia, Falken from WarGames, and Fitz from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
And if that weren't enough, the vampires use the last name "Sackville-Bagg"—which has got to be the weirdest Tolkien reference I've ever seen.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0192255/