This movie is begging to be riffed.How can it not be riffed? We will be ripped off if there is no riff of this sequel.

How do you NOT riff the sequel?! Manos was, by far, one of the best ever. I use lines from that movie in my everyday life. Torgo! ❤️

-Torgo's Diary
"BEST DAY EVER"
Friday 11/26/2021
5:39 A.M.

Today I was cleaning Manos' sacrificial alter, sweeping out the leftover hot spicy buffalo wings, old moldy french fries,rodent droppings, used sun tan oil bottles, adding fuel to the sacrificial Tiki torches, when something moving caught my eye. The movement was to my left, and as I moved my downward gaze in that direction, I could see two size 5 glossy black pointed toe pumps with 18" stiletto heels. I knew that this could not be Master, since he wears a size 12 glossy black pump. It is forbidden for me to gaze upon Master's wives, but uncontrollably, I found myself slowly looking upward from those two black pumps and I saw the most beautiful long slender beautiful shapely hairy legs. Again! I knew that is could not be Master as he shaves his legs. I could see the white chiffon see-thru nightie, those large white granny panties, and that white torpedo brassiere. Finally, I found myself looking at the most beautiful blue eyes that I had ever seen...and then...she winked at me...Torgo. I was startled beyond belief. I quickly turned my gaze downward. She walked about the sacrificial altar for a few minutes, not going in any particular direction, and then she dropped something,on the ground, she paused, and then she left. I couldn't even tell which one of Master's brides she was. All of this time I looked correctly downward. It was a good ten minutes before I found the courage to go over and see what the dropped object was. It turned out to be the most delicate soft white lacy handkerchief that I had ever seen. When I held it to my nose it strongly smelled like Master's "Old Spice" cologne. Why? I don't know.
Next to my teddy bear, my most favorite possession to have next to me now when I go to sleep at night on my lumpy straw bed. is that lacy white handkerchief and I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a bride of my own someday.

This day shall go into my diary under the heading of: BEST DAY EVER!

Please Riff Manos Returns. Do it for Jackey's Dad.

-A Day in the Lives of Master and Torgo-

I just cannot believe it Torgo, we just get our magnificent new beautiful neon "Valley Lodge" sign, with chase lights, built and that hick sheriff Jennings orders us to dismantle it.

What an unmitigated nerve he has threatening us that if we don't remove our sign immediately, he will fine us and throw us in jail.

Sheriff Jennings should have addressed these issues to you Torgo, since this was all your idea in the first place.
-Master

Yes Master.
-Torgo

Not fair.

It's just not fair.

IT"S...JUST...NOT...FAIR!
-Master

Am I right, or am I right Torgo?
-Master

Yes Torgo.
-Torgo

I mean...???

What?

What was that you just said to me Torgo?
-Master

-Torgo

You just said "Yes Torgo," didn't you? I heard you say it..
-Master

-Torgo

Don't give me the silent treatment Togo!

I clearly heard what you said.

JUST GO AHEAD AND ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE!....................................

...............................RIGHT NOW!
-Master

-Torgo

You know and understand that I am the #1 favorite follower of the great God Manos, and that I have been granted many awesome tremendous powers.

When pleased, I can give great joy and happiness, when angered, I can level whole cities with just a nod of my head.

Because of my awesome unlimited supernatural powers Torgo, we no longer need to go to the 7/11 to microwave our breakfast burritos like we used to. Remember?

With a simple wave of my hand, I can heat our breakfast burritos to perfection.

That is what unlimited power is all about Torgo.

You need to tremble at my feet and bow, like I do when Manos stops by for tea and cookies.

Now admit that you were mocking me, or incur my terrible and fearsome wrath!
-Master

-Torgo

Ok...fine...Torgo! You have done it now! You have really just finally done it! Your fate is sealed!

You can expect to find your breakfast burrito to be a charred smoking ash cinder when you get home.

Now finish dismantling the sign and haul it all back to our lair!

I'm out of here.
-Master

Master walks away, and when he is out of hearing range and unable to be seen, quietly, almost silently, in a hushed whisper Torgo says:

Yes Torgo.
-Torgo

...and gives Master the finger.

12/8/2019
12:40 a.m.

Torgo's Diary

Dear diary, I have this old AM transistor radio that barely works. I don't remember where I got this radio, but I have had it for a long time. Sometimes very late at night, or really early in the morning, I can hear people talking on it, or music playing. This morning I was clearly able to hear a song being played, before the signal faded into static again. The song was "Merry Christmas Darling" sung by Karen Carpenter. She has such a beautiful voice. It was a special magical moment for me and just what I needed to hear.
I love you Karen Carpenter.

-Torgo

-A Day in the Lives of Master and Torgo-

You know Torgo, it has been like forever, that we have had any visitors.
-Master

Yes Master.
-Torgo

The last time we had visitors, it was that guy in the convertible...with the movie camera.
-Master

Yes Master
-Torgo

...and he had a family and a dog...remember him Torgo?
-Master

Yes Master.
-Torgo

I think that his name was Hal...
You know what Torgo? I think that we need a new "Valley Lodge" sign at the entrance to our ten mile dirt road that leads to our crash pad. The old sign is falling apart, and you can't even read it anymore.
-Master

Yes Master.
-Torgo

I think, I'll ask Manos, the all seeing, all knowing, most powerful God known to man, what he thinks.
-Master

Yes Master.
-Torgo

Manos?, Come in Manos, it is I "The Master" wishing to communicate with you.
-Master

(Thunder sounds and then lightning flashes.)

This better not be a collect call like last time Master!

YES! What do you want now?
-Manos

We, being myself and Torgo, were thinking that it would be an absolutely fabulous idea to replace that old "Valley Lodge" sign at our road entrance, with a new one so that we might attract new sacrificial victims to honor your great mightiness.

If you like this idea, it was mine, if you don't like this idea, it was Torgo who thought of it.
-Master

Do you realize that I am right in the middle of watching a big college football game, and I have bet a lot of money on it?
-Manos

Oh great Manos, should we replace the "Valley Lodge" sign with a much bigger sign that lights up, at our dirt road entrance?
Should we huh? Should we?
-Master

...whatever.
-Manos

Thank you omnipotent one! I will take that as a YES sign, and we will do your bidding at once, or as soon as we can get around to it.

...uh, I have just one other small request...
-Master

MANOS HAS SPOKEN!

Over and out.
-Manos

Ok Togo, we got the green light from Manos, let us build us the biggest frigowsky sign that people can't miss for miles around.

What do you think Torgo?
-Master

Your eyes take on a savage hypnotic glow in the moonlight, that I find compelling and cannot resist.
-Torgo

What was that Torgo?
-Master

I said...yes Master.
-Torgo

Oh...ok, I thought that you said something else.

Torgo, I've got a wonderful idea. Since we are going to build a brand new :"Valley Lodge" sign anyway, let's do it in bright red neon with chase lights, and then we'll post a bunch of phony positive Yelp reviews about the lodge, and then we just sit back and wait for the sacrifices to come driving in...I mean the guests to start arriving.

What do you think about that Torgo, am I magnificently brilliant or brilliantly magnificent?
-Master

Yes Master.
-Torgo

If we hurry Torgo, we can make it to the Home Depot before it closes and pick up our sign building materials so we can get started with the new sign right away.
-Master

Yes Master.
-Torgo

MANOS' - Notes to Myself

Just when I get into my jammies, pop some corn, have a cold beer ready, I get summoned up by those two knuckle heads, Master and Torgo, for another one of their sacrificial offerings to me. What's up with those idiots anyway? Don't they understand that Omnipotent God's have a structured work schedule, just like other blue collar workers, and they don't like to be bothered in their off-hour free time? First thing I should do is drop Master and Torgo from my worshiper list and get some competent disciples to replace them. Then I should bestow my powers on others who will appreciate the perks and pleasures of WORLD DOMINATION and can also respect my privacy, especially on weekends.
This will be my first New Year's Resolution for 2020.

-Manos (All Seeing, All Knowing, Feared-by-all-who-gaze-upon-him, Omnipotent God and a really nice guy.)

10/21/2019
1:26 a.m.

MASTER'S JOURNAL

Caught Torgo staring at me in that "funny way" again yesterday. This is beginning to make me feel a little uncomfortable. The way he looks at me reminds me of the way that I look at a woman before I make her my bride. You don't suppose that Torgo secretly wish's that he were my...bride? No...he would look terrible in white chiffon and panties. I will talk to Torgo about this tomorrow, right after he does my nails and gives me a full-body massage.

-Master

I don't think I could watch the original without MST3K or RiffTrax. But I am curious about this sequel. I remember hearing about it, but thought it was cancelled early into production.

Does anyone actually have proof that there is a sequel to Manos? I mean, really, a sequel to Manos? (I have an online friend who tried to watch Manos COLD - without riffing - and she said that she almost had a stroke, it was just so bad, and this is a girl in her twenties; she eventually took my recommendation and watched it with MST3K, though I think she abandoned her project to read the non-fiction book about the making of it.)

Wtf. There's a sequel!?

Praise be to Manos!
Praise be to Manos!
Praise be to Manos!

Movie Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR4EEN-zoUQ