Werewolves On Wheels (1971)
A biker gang visits a monastery, where they encounter black-robed monks engaged in worshiping Satan. When the monks try to persuade one of the female bikers, Helen, to become a satanic sacrifice, the bikers smash up the monastery and leave. The monks have the last laugh, though, as Helen -- as a result of the aforementioned satanic tomfoolery and whatnot -- is now possessed, and at night changes into a werewolf, with dire results for the rest of her biker buddies!
I should learn to stop saying, "This has to be the worst movie ever made," because another one always comes along to prove me wrong. With this one, I barely made it through the interminably long musical intro, and it only went downhill from there.
If the RiffTrax crew could make this enjoyable to watch, they'd deserve a gold in the Riffing Olympics. Actually, they already deserve that, so a more prestigious medal would need to be introduced, like platinum. It feels kind of wrong to wish they'd have to suffer through this, but I'd love to see what they'd do with it, so go for the platinum, guys!
Andy in NJ commented
Featuring (maybe) 10 minutes of werewolves! Love this
"Life Made Them Hard. The Devil Made Them MONSTERS!"
Worf Woof commented
Lovingly details the fey, tinkling laughter and bubbly merriment traditionally associated with 70s biker gang culture.
How come waycool stuff like this never happens to me when *I* head out on my machine...? ;)
Col. Mayfair commented
Check out the trailer on youtube:
This looks like it just might actually be the MANOS of biker movies.
B. Al commented
Saw this at the drive-in, decades ago, and have never forgotten it since. Hell, yes, RIFF THIS BASTARD!
Other movies merely "reek" or "bite." This one actually scootches and sheds.
Shelly's Blues commented
Hogs, hicks, howling and hirsutism! Let's do this!
Whenever Helen transforms into her hairier, fang-ier alter ego, she looks remarkably like Ron Perlman.
With "special effects" so cringe-inducingly cheap and lame, they would have been rejected out-of-hand by James Nguyen.
The only known motorcycle flick where Ron Perlam *isn't* the hairiest or ugliest character on the screen.
The only known cycle flick where Ron Perlman ISN'T the hairiest, most misshapen cast member.
Somehow, you just know Endora's behind all of this.
Blind Al commented
Somehow, Endora's behind all of this! I just *know* it!
This would make an *awesome* of FUNKY PHANTOM.
This movie was MADE to be Riffed!
Slow Mary commented
If a biker turns into a huge, tattooed were-canine, will he end up chasing his own motorcycle?