I just discovered and watched a hidden gem on Youtube: "Double Blast." Can your heart stand... Joe Estevez and Robert Z'Dar in a kids' movie about martial arts kids (The Malcolm in the Middle older brother's real-life older brother + a Stephanie Tanner rip-off) trying to save Linda Blair, who has been kidnapped by Joe Estevez, a gentler Robert Z'Dar, and a guy who looks like a combination of Yanni, Tommy Chong, and Dave Grohl. Didn't catch the character's name, but the credits give some hope it might be Rotundo. If the Asylum existed at the time and tried to combine Home Alone, Karate Kid, and the Goonies, and could spend no more than $200 bucks, this is what they'd do.

And then there's the star. Think Don "The Dragon" Wilson, except with fewer facial expressions (1) and even less charisma (none). He has a nickname, though: Dale "Apollo" Cook, who the credits assure us is a five-time world kickboxing champ.

From what I’ve read about MST3K and Rifftrax’ process, this should be easily riffable- there’s plenty of pauses for riffs to be inserted effectively. The writing is strange (not James Nguyen strange, but strange enough.) By the end, everyone is kung fu fighting and an actor clearly wearing a sheet convinces Robert Z’Dar that he’s a ghost. This is not explained, and I don’t remember the ghost being mentioned earlier (it may have been, I’m sure I blacked out more than once).

The original trailer on videodetective (https://www.videodetective.com/movie/double-blast-13265) will, in 2 minutes, make a case far greater than my prose ever could. The movie can be found on YT here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5ZEWqqIGMc&ab_channel=FILMFORUM).

I’m sure I have found what could and should become a Rifftrax classic; I sincerely hope some folks will check this out and join me in appreciating this description-defying doozie.