Teenage Monster aka Meteor Monster (1958)
Just when you think Rifftrax has reached the bottom of the barrel in terrible movies, I have to go and dig up "Teenage Monster" from the abandoned cesspool of forgotten films.
In the old movie days, people felt cheated if they weren't shown a double feature when they went to the movies. It really didn't have to be a good double feature, it was quantity over quality. AIP films is a good example of this. This cheaply made movie was produced to meet the double bill requirement to accompany "The Brain from Planet Arous" (which I love.). Cashing in on the teenage monster films at the time, "I was a Teenage Werewolf," and I was a Teenage Frankenstein," and other teenage exploitation films. The filmmakers changed the original movie title to "Teenage Monster," later, the movie was shown on early television, many times with local "Horror Hosts," as "Meteor Monster." This was one of the last films that famous monster master makeup artist Jack Pierce worked on.
Billed as a horror western, this film never really succeeds in either genre. Actually, it doesn't even succeed as a movie. But in the hands of experienced Riffers, I'm sure that this film will succeed in being hilarious.
Teenage Monster trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rDdpwCZnbA
Teenage Monster (Full movie with Spanish subtitles that can't be turned off, but you can learn a little Spanish if you watch the whole film. Good luck!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bVZlZUmjHM
Dilbert Thockmeyer commented
Teenage Monster movie review by filmmaker Ed Wood: Movie is slow moving, but classic good fun. Film would have greatly benefited by including some flying saucers in it, but that's just my opinion. Meteor effects crashing to Earth were breathtaking and so real that I fell out of my theater seat and hid. Why the filmmakers didn't use a fantastic opportunity to have resurrected corpses from Boot Hill rise up from the meteor fall-out and take over the Earth, I'll never know. Another movie opportunity that was wasted, was the movie makers could have had the Teenage Monster wearing an Angora sweater and his closet filled with gorgeous designer women's clothes and then they could have really shown his true teenage angst as the Teenage Monster was torn between killing and what to wear when he went out in the evening. He could be thinking, " Do I want to give into my homicidal urges and possibly tear or get blood on my gorgeous expensive new beige Angora sweater?" Now that's good drama!
I give this movie a 2 1/2 on the Bela Lugosi movie scale.
Dilbert Thockmeyer commented
Teenage Monster (beat sheet)
1) Superficial loving family dynamic established in first five minutes.
2) Cheesy fake looking meteor from outer space kills father, horribly mutates son, and ruins mother's plans for a nice quiet evening at home.
3) Son now is a hulking disfigured homicidal monster, who looks thirty years older, but he still loves his mommy.
4) Mom and teenage monster son continue to work the family gold mine until they finally strike it rich.
5) Sheriff thinks single mom is attractive, but now more importantly, she is filthy RICH! Mom is done grieving her meteor cremated husband, and is considering the handsome sheriff's marriage proposals. Mom keeps forgetting to tell anyone about her killer teenage monster son that she keeps hidden from view.
6) After a few murders,teenage monster son tries to kill local innocent good girl, but stuffs her into his closet when he hears his mother coming.
7) Mother finds local innocent good girl still alive in teenage monster son's closet, and buys her silence with a lot of money from her recently acquired gold mine bonanza.
Local innocent good girl is now also to be teenage monster son's new playmate and companion.
(Whatever you do, just don't call her a "babysitter"!)
8) As expected, money corrupts local innocent good girl and makes her into a local greedy evil bad girl, who realizes that she can make hulking monster son do anything that she desires.
9) Newly corrupted evil bad girl has new best friend teenage monster son kill greedy, (soon to be ex) boyfriend who stole all of her earned "companion money." (NOT babysitter money!))
10) Newly corrupted evil bad girl decides that getting rid of mom's new sheriff boyfriend, some annoying townsfolk and even mom, who has way too much control over her son, out of the picture and will give her a great deal of power and money. She who control's the hulking teenage monster son, controls the WORLD!
11) Newly corrupted evil bad girl's corrupt plans go awry when teenage monster son draws the line at killing his mother.
Teenage monster son: "Killing people is good. Killing my mommy is not good."
12) Teenage monster son doesn't like that evil bad girl had thrown his mommy under the bus and he is now really really MAD at her!
13) Teenage monster son carries bad evil girl to top of high mountain with mommy, sheriff, and townsfolk in hot pursuit.
14) Teenage monster son throws bad evil girl off cliff, sheriff shoots teenage monster son who says " Mommy I love you," before he goes over the cliff and on-to the rocks below to join his former babysitter. Mommy shouts "Charlie, I love you too son", and starts crying hysterically. Sheriff Bob looks at mommy, who he now knows has kept her homicidal killer son a secret from everyone, including him, all of these years and wonders if he should reconsider his courtship pursuits and maybe find a woman who may not be wealthy, but has a little less of the woo woo in the head stuff.
15) THE END (Sequel already in-the-works.)