After a hard day's work, Manon returned to the run-down dilapidated shack that he called home.
He went to his kitchen that doubled as his dining room and made his dinner.
As he sat down to eat, there was a hoard of flies buzzing around him, and this made him angry, even though this had been an every day occurance for years.
Manon thought about this annoying problem for hours and decided to put a large pile of fresh gator poop on his bed. The flies were immediately drawn to the fresh gator poop in Manon's bedroom and away from the kitchen. "I am just so smart, I should have followed my Mammy's and Pappy's advice when I was young and become a quantum physicist instead of a gator wrangler, like they told me to do." Manon daydreamed.
Manon, then enjoyed his first quiet fly-less dinner in a very long time.

Question: What would have been a much simpler and more effective solution for Manon to have pursued with his fly dilemma?

Answer: Manon should have let the flies land on his food and eat some, thus killing all of the flies within minutes. Problem solved.
And then he wouldn't have to deal with his newly created second problem of where he was going to sleep tonight.

Q) What did Manon say was the most annoying thing about being a gator wrangler in the swamp?

A) When the gators ring your doorbell and run.

Q) What did Manon say was his favorite thing about working as a gator wrangler in the swamp?

A) His days off.

A gang of teenage gators crashed Manon's surprise birthday party, that was being held for him at the swamp.
What game did the delinquent gators insist on everybody playing that abruptly ended Manon's party and made all the party guests quickly leave?

Answer: 'Swallow the Leader'

Sid and Nancy gator decided to take a long overdue vacation cruise to Florida.
After unpacking, Sid and Nancy gator went to the cruise ship's restaurant.
The waiter came over to them and said:

Waiter: Good afternoon, would you both like to see a menu?

Sid gator: No thank-you, just bring us the passenger list.

The gator family were all eating dinner together when Mama gator looked up at her son and harshly said:

Mama gator:" Wally! You know that it's not polite to talk with someone in your mouth!"

Manon's friends all got together and held a surprise birthday party for Manon at the swamp.

Q) What party game did Manon refuse to play?

A) 'Pin the Tail on the Gator.'

Q) Why did the twenty-something female gator crash the singles mixer being held at the Okefenokee Country Club?

A) She was looking for edible bachelors.

Manon liked two things more than anything else in the whole world. Halloween and candy. Every year for Halloween he would dress up in a different costume that he made and go out 'Trick or Treating.'
This Halloween, Manon took an old wrinkled extra large white sheet and threw it over his head, for his costume. His first stop, was always old Mrs. Brown's house. Manon rang her doorbell, and when she answered, he yelled "Trick or Treat!"
For a moment Mrs. Brown was startled, and then she said:
(Mrs. Brown was startled because Manon was ringing her doorbell in March.)

Mrs. Brown: "Oh my goodness Manon, are you dressed up as a scary ghost?"

Manon: "Nooooooo! Isn't it obvious that I'm supposed to be an 'unmade bed'?"

Manon: "I sure hope that you are going to give out those yummy 'gator shaped' chocolate candies again this year Mrs. Brown."

Manon was walking through the swamp one afternoon when two large gators came out of nowhere and viciously attacked him.
The first gator savagely ripped off his left leg off his body, and the second gator brutally bit off his left arm leaving a blood spurting gaping hole where his arm used to be.

What did Manon say to the horrified on-lookers to try and calm them down?

Manon: "Don't worry folks, I'm 'all right' now."

-Famous Quotes-

"I never met a man I didn't like."
-Will Rogers

"I never met a man I didn't like (to eat)."
-Wally the swamp gator

-Manon's Gator Jokes-

Manon: "Better laugh or I swear I'll kill you, just like I would kill any four legged gator that didn't laugh at my jokes!"

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Q) Why did the gator cross the road?

A) So he could get to me and bite my F*****G hand off!

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Q) What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a gator.

A) I don't know but the A*****E just successfully sued me for everything I own, in court last week!
(...and then he bit my F*****G hand off!)

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Q) How many arms does a gator have?

A) One, and it was my good F*****G arm!

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Q) What's worse than a bloodthirsty giant gator chasing you?

A) TWO giant bloodthirsty gators chasing after me, and they're about to catch me as I write this with my only good F*****G hand!

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Q) Why do gators hate fast food.

A) Because I'm slow, fat and much tastier!
(...and they've already had my hand to eat as an F*****G appetizer!)

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Q) Why do gators make bad pets?

A1) The minute you bring them home from the pet shop they F*****G eat you! And then they leave to go look for a new better tasting owner.

A2) You risk your life every time you change their litter box.

A3) When you take them out for a walk, all of your neighbors and their pets F*****G mysteriously disappear.
(...and I don't mean that they run away.)

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After fifty-three years of working as a gator wrangler in the swamps, Manon decided to retire and follow his life-long dream of becoming an actor in the theater.

Q) What was the only role that Manon was continuously typecast to play for the rest of his life?

A) "Captain Hook," in the play "Peter Pan."

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Q) What did the very polite female gator say when she was formally introduced to Manon?

A) "Pleased to eat you."

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Q) Why did Manon dress up in a clown costume whenever he worked in the swamp?

A) He felt that if the gators thought that he tasted funny, they wouldn't try to eat him.

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Q) Why did the female gator decide not to eat Manon, when she had a chance to?

A) She figured that having him made into a handbag with matching shoes, would make a bold fashion statement to all of the other envious female gators in the swamp.

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Q) Why is Manon considered the "perfect meal" to all of the swamp gators?

A) When you're finished eating him, you can use his hook as a toothpick.

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Manon had gypsy blood in him and was able to tell people's futures for beer money.

Q) What did Manon say to the gator as it was about to eat him?

A) "I knew this would happen!"

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Q) What did the swamp gators call the teenager who was so totally engrossed in texting in the morning, that she was oblivious of everything else?

A) Breakfast.

Q) What did the swamp gators call the woman in the afternoon, who stood immovably transfixed, as she watched an "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" episode on her iPad?

A) Lunch

Q) What did the swamp gators call the guy who was standing still, totally absorbed in watching YouTube videos on his smartphone in the evening?

A) Dinner

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Q) What did Manon think when he came face-to-face with a gator doing a Sudoku puzzle.

A) "Going to visit the bratwurst factory in Germany has always been on my bucket list, right now might be a really good time to do it!"

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Wallace Gator: "What do a Lay's potato chip and a human have in common?"

Fred Gator: "You can't eat just one."

Movie Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP7PpOyZ6Ac

"I'll kill you gatorman, just like I would any four legged gator.

-Manon