"My hero!" - Dolly Parton

"Not mine." - Gene Siskel

(http://siskelandebert.org/video/MRMWGDKM6AAO/At-the-Movies-The-Worst-of-1984)

I love Dolly, but this is the worst movie ever! The only way I could possibly watch it again, is if Rifftrax took this movie on!

The single most incredible true fact about this flick: it is NOT actually a full-length cartoon.

The really incredible thing about this flick is: IT'S NOT ACTUALLY A CARTOON!

Watching Stallone actually attempting to sing is like watching a chimpanzee smoke: you keep wondering what sort of abuse they had to visit upon the poor, dumb brute in order to make him try such a thing in the first place.

They ended up calling it "Rhinestone" because neither Dolly nor Sly could spell (or pronounce) "cubic zirconium."

*rimshot*

Makes "Cliffhanger" look like "Casablanca."

If only we could somehow digitally insert Kanye West into this cinematic cheese log, it would make for a perfect storm of movie musical imbecility.

Starring three of the biggest boobs in cinematic history.

Let me help you with this one, Mark. Basically, Rhinestone is sort of a unique take on 'My Fair Lady,' except here Dolly Parton plays a frustrated country music star, because her agent hasn't gotten her any good gigs. When the agent states that nobody wants country music stars anymore, and nobody can become as good as her, Dolly makes a bet she can turn the next person they encounter into a rising country star. Enter Sylvester Stallone as a cab driver who appears at the wrong place at the wrong time.

At first, Dolly and Sly's characters clash, especially when she attempts to 'countrify' this city boy so he can perform as a country star to win the bet. One hilarious scene is where she tries to teach him to eat as a country person by 'sopping up his gravy' with his biscuit.

Of course, Sly does eventually become a country star, which almost eclipses Dolly's stardom, much to her chagrin.

Though it is a take on the Pygmalion ('My Fair Lady,' for those unfamiliar with the play), it is a hilarious film for the fact you have to suspend disbelief on viewing Sylvester Stallone as a country music star.