Elvira Mistress Of The Dark
She's introduced and closed late-night horror movies in the 1980s and done a good job of doing so. She's even played a tour guide for a motion simulator ride called "House Of Superstition". But asking Elvira to lead a feature-length motion picture is like overstretching a rubber band. Sure, you'll get a bigger number when you put it next to a tape measure, but you'll also increase the likelihood of it snapping. And nobody wants THAT to happen.