Operation Blue Line starring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
A 10-minute promotional VHS given out at supermarkets and the like. The Turtles shill with honor as they cross the country to LA in order to promote the LA Metro Blue Line, a rail system running from LA to Long Beach. In order to accomplish their goal, they must overcome the sinister Gridlock, a malefactor who wants to keep LA congested with traffic and smog.
Reasons this deserves a riffing:
-The Turtle costumes are pretty cheap-looking. They just look like giant versions of the original TMNT action figures and have no jaw articulation whatsoever. They make up for it by having the dubbed-in voices of Townsend Coleman, Barry Gordon, Rob Paulsen and Cam Clarke, the VAs from the original cartoon. They're polishing a ****, though, as the dialogue is as wooden and forced as any infomercial you could name.
-Gridlock makes a poor substitute for Shredder. Aside from looking like a children's theatre villain minus the subtlely and clear motivations, the "Gloomsday Device" he's using to erase all information about the Blue Line is obviously just the Geigameter from Ghostbusters II.
-If you were expecting any martial arts action, HA HA HA you should really know better. The closest you get is Donatello striking a few poses when he confronts Gridlock, followed by a half-assed chase scene set to classical music and the most anticlimactic ending since Monster A-Go-Go.
Watch it in full via the Ninja Pizza blog, which also has some information about the production provided by someone who worked on it.