Christmas is Here Again (2007)
This movie doesn't just suck...it FAILS. It had an intriguing premise for a Christmas movie: What if someone actually succeeded in ruining Christmas? It has talented voice actors including Jay Leno, Andy Griffith, Shirley Jones and Ed Asner. It has Roy Disney as a producer. And with all that potential, it gives us a bland slog with one-dimensional characters, dull, forgettable tunes and plot points as predictable as the tide.
Highlights (or lowlights) include:
-The main character, Sophiana. If her name didn't clue you in that she's supposed to be a too-pure-for-this-sinful-earth Mary Sue, get a load of this: she lives at an orphanage where he is hated and bullied by the cruel matron and the other orphans even though she cooks gourmet meals for them and wants everyone to be happy, she has a heart-shaped locket with a picture of her parents, and she needs a cane to walk. Have the feels, **** you! And please pay no attention to the fact that Sophiana is never shown struggling to walk or do anything without her cane.
-The songs. They're bland, repetitive and sound like they were written in half a day. Even Shirley Jones can't do anything with them. So what happens when they give musical numbers to Ed Asner and Norm MacDonald?
-Christmas is ruined because the villain, Krad, stole Santa Claus' magical sack so he can't deliver toys. How he did this is never explained, but what's really crazy is the explanation for why they can't just use another sack: Santa's magical toy sack is--I kid you not--made from Baby Jesus' swaddling clothes. Even Kirk Cameron didn't go that far.
If you need more, here's the Musical **** review.