Stickfighter
Reasons this movies should be considered:
-It's a vanity project where the writer also plays the main character
-It has an extremely nonsensical plot
-None of the above matters because everyone is just here to see Stickfighter beat up as many people as possible in under 90 minutes.
Stickfighter is one of those movies that's very difficult to explain, since most of the "plot" appears to be only a thinly veiled excuse to have beefy dudes in warehouses kick and punch each other while being accompanied by Looney Tunes sfx. Nevertheless, the movie is a masterpiece and I will attempt to summarized to the uninitiated.
Kely McClung stars as the titular Stickfighter, aka Officer John Lambert in a movie he wrote himself. He and his (non-stickfighting) partner spring a trap on some drug-dealing evil dudes and lots of (non-stick) fighting ensues. Lambert's partner somehow gets killed while also killing the son of an important crime boss of some kind (it's never really explained what crimes he does). Lambert quits the police because they don't approve of his radical methods and flies off to...somewhere to team up with his dead partners not-dead sister for some reason that's not very well explained. They drive around beating up lots of people while we learn that the crime boss has also put a hit out on Lambert, although this doesn't actually seem to have anything to do with the people constantly attacking him. This all happens in the first 10 minutes of the movie. After that there's lots more driving around while Lambert kills approximately 200 people (none of them with sticks) while occasionally stopping at his old mentor figure's Chinese strip club. We know the club is Chinese because we get the most stereotypical "Oriental" riff imaginable when first shown the building. The Mentor is not Chinese and neither are any of the strippers he employs, but he does have one Chinese guy working for him who gives Lambert ("the International Stickfighting Champion") some sticks when he decides to "fight back" against the gangsters we've barely seen. Some evil guy called alternately Mr and Dr Taco kills Mentor and Chinese Guy and also some random strippers, so Lambert decides to kill all the bad guys in dinky garage (some of them several times). At the end he hooks up with the sister while his former (current?) boss congratulates him on being a good cop (?) because apparently he has actually BEEN a cop all this time despite quitting at the beginning of the movie and murdering several people in cold blood.
Final tally:
People choked to death: 2
People stabbed to death: 1
People thrown to their death from a building: Quite a lot
People kicked and punched to death: Too many to count
People defeated with stickfighting: 0
Suggested scene for review: the entrance of Mr Taco
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Brian commented
This movie is every action cliché amped up to the 10th power. All it needs is to change it's name to "McBain".
I say riff it, but damned if it isn't a nonstop laugh-fest by itself.
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Shell commented
There's significantly less stick fighting and noticeably more uncomfortable scenes with struggle that end in kissing than you would expect!