Oh. I don't know. If Manos, Plan 9, Squirm, and some unknown farce of nature (that's not a typo) engaged in an unholy orgy, this is what it would spawn. Shirtless hillbillies (some even in pointy, dark henchman hoods), an effeminate priest donned in a black robe adorned with a kicky purple inverted cross keeping watch over a lucite coffin encasing a blood-sucking queen with man hands, floppy haired pathology student and his vacant girlfriend who has the reaction time of a slice of olive loaf. Bonus. The girlfriend's pear-shaped professorial father who experiments with blood samples that look a helluva lot like Flav-R-Aid fruit punch. The plot is circuitous, insane, and hilarious. The framing, lighting, and overall camera...uh...work...left me reeling from both nausea and mirth. A fluffy dog named Buster does get brutally murdered, but it's safe to assume this incident was clearly and amusingly faked, and even if it weren't clearly and amusingly faked, Buster would have probably willingly taken the hit to get out of this massive turkey.

All that said, let me leave you with a few character names. Creton. Egon. Sontag. Queen Onhorrid.

Yep. Riff it, won't you?