Nutcracker in 3D
Proof that the art of horrible, nightmarish attempts at Christmas movies did not die out with Pirates World, Nutcracker in 3D (aka The Nutcracker: The Untold Story) is one of the few movies to receive a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The majority of the ballet's musical score is jettisoned, and the pieces that remain are played ad nauseam. Other pointless changes: the heroine is names Mary instead of Clara, her uncle is Albert Einstein (?!), and the rats are Nazis (?!?!?!). The Nutcracker looks like a rejected Five Nights at Freddy's character, sounds like Moaning Myrtle (he's voiced by Shirley Henderson), and insists on being called "NC." and constantly bickers with Mary in the typical obviously-going-to-fall-in-love fashion. And he has sidekicks: A chimp in a suit, a clown who looks uncomfortably like John Wayne Gacy, and an anachronistic drummer who looks like a cast member of Stomp. The fantasy world is depicted as a bleak, grey, smoggy hellscape to the point that the real world looks more fantastic by comparison. Throw in a laundry list of action cliches and an anticlimax on par with Twilight Eclipse, and you've got a stinker for the ages.
If that's not enough for you, here's the Musical Hell review:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOANnff99yA
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Ryan Havican commented
Oh my god yes, I totally agree with you on this. I haven't seen the movie, and from everything I've heard about it, I never will. Because of how terrible it is, I want to get this movie to Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy, so we can convince them to riff on this hot mess like there's no tomorrow. Seriously, this is a movie that just deserves to be riffed on.