7499 results found

1. The Instructor

   This movie was made in my hometown, Akron, Oh in 1980. I have fond memories of the premier held at Akron Civic Theater, one of those old movie houses with an orchestra pit. It was cheesy then and doesn’t hold up well, but I love it. The production is on par with Touch of ***** and Kill or Be Killed. It’s ripe for your treatment. Please watch it, riff it and let me know. Here’s the YouTube link https://youtu.be/oCpIo2D0EA8. A karate flick extravaganza. Thank you I know you you get 1000’s if suggestions but please give this a 10 minute view and I think you’ll agree. It’ll be great.

   This movie was made in my hometown, Akron, Oh in 1980. I have fond memories of the premier held at Akron Civic Theater, one of those old movie houses with an orchestra pit. It was cheesy then and doesn’t hold up well, but I love it. The production is on par with Touch of ***** and Kill or Be Killed. It’s ripe for your treatment. Please watch it, riff it and let me know. Here’s the YouTube link https://youtu.be/oCpIo2D0EA8. A karate flick extravaganza. Thank you I know you you get 1000’s if suggestions but please give this a 10… more

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2. cellar dweller

   More 80's cheese

   18 votes

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3. Santa Girl

   This is one of the weirdest movies I have ever watched. Perfect for Riffing.

   Here is my synopsis of the movie:

   So Santa apparently does the whole giving away presents thing as a for-profit business. They are never clear about how they actually make money at this scheme (though it seems to have something to do with slavery).

   Mrs Claus died a while ago, and it has made Santa a ruthless businessman. He has a daughter (the main character of the movie) who he is forcing into an arranged marriage to help grow his business empire. She understandably doesn't want to marry some guy she has never met, and instead wants to go to college. Santa is firmly against college.

   However her acting out is putting the business merger in jeopardy, so they strike a bargain... she will agree to the arranged marriage and to put the family business first, and in return, she gets to go to college for a semester. She has to return on Christmas eve to marry the guy and take over the family business. Santa sends her servant (they all have servants... and live a wealthy/extravagant lifestyle) with her to keep an eye on her.

   So now we basically have a much worse version of Coming to America.
   Santa warns her not to use her magic powers (she has magic powers) if she wants to be accepted by the normies, and gives her around a hundred thousand dollars "only for emergencies". They make a big deal about the powers thing, but it never actually seems to come up in the movie. She mainly uses them to sneak into class late, and she is not really careful about not being seen or anything. It doesn't seem to matter or have any repercussions.

   It turns out the real magic is the $100k her dad gave her. She just starts buying things for people and becomes (mildly) popular as a result. She also wins people over by being Kimmy Schmitt. Her character is basically a rich Kimmy Schmitt with mildly useful magic powers.

   The main plot revolves around two boys fighting over her affection, while she is completely clueless that dating is a thing. She just thinks they are super friendly, despite the fact that they both quickly and repeatedly declare their intention to pursue her romantically.

   Plot twist! It turns out that one of the boys is actually secretly the guy she is being forced to marry.

   Double plot twist! Said boy is being forced to woo her by his obviously-evil father to make sure the business deal goes through. Good thing he has actually started to like her for realsies. But now he can't tell her that he has been lying to her without risking the marriage.

   Triple plot twist! The other boy is being paid by the first boy's father to spy on the girl! You see, the father was worried that she might be interested in the second boy, and call off the marriage, so to prevent that... he pays the second boy to "keep an eye on her and make sure she stays safe". Second boy is like, well I was going to do that anyway, so I guess I will take your money.

   So here is where a regular movie would be predictable... but not this movie! See, a normal (******) movie would have the father reveal that he was paying the 2nd boy and she would get angry at him. But, no, he toys with that idea, but instead decides to make a bunch of memes about how she is from the north pole, pay some mean girls to make fun of her about it, and then frame the 2nd boy for that.

   It is all very confusing at this point. Her servant elf seems the most upset by the racially insensitive portrayal of elves in the meme, but it does successfully drive a wedge between her and 2nd boy.

   Second boy then tries to make amends. He tells her that he didn't do the meme thing, but he is like: I was taking money to spy on you... just not the meme thing. Without even taking a breath, he is like: I have been spying on you for money, will you be my girlfriend? She is like: Why did you think that would make things better?

   She isn't really that upset about the spying though. Just water off a duck's back. She is still angry about the meme. She says she is going to go to the dance with 1st boy... but just as friends, because she doesn't want to risk the business merger.

   At the dance, 1st boy decides he needs to come clean and tells her who he is and proposes to her. He really does love her, and it isn't just about the business. 2nd boy storms in and says that 1st boy framed him for the meme. 1st boy is like: I didn't, but my dad probably did, that guy is a ****. She tells 2nd boy that she is in love with him (in front of 1st boy), but that the business comes first... then accepts boy 1's proposal. 1st boy is like, I guess that works.

   Cut to the wedding. Santa is like, I have made a horrible mistake, but I can't get out of this contract I signed with boy 1's father... so I guess you will have to marry him.

   Plot twist! Boy 2 is studying to be a lawyer. Santa leaves to go find him to see if there is a loophole in the contract!

   Girl is all-in on the wedding, but is waiting for her father to return because she wants him to be there. Boy 1's father is like: NO! You must start the wedding now... or I will use a clause in the contract to cancel Christmas forever! Muahahah. Girl is like, sigh, fine.

   Wedding starts and Boy 1 is like, do we actually know what we are doing here? I mean I like you, but do I want to marry you? We haven't actually been on a formal date yet. They cut right to the "Does anyone object?" bit.

   Now, again, a normal movie would have Santa storm in and stop it, or maybe Boy 2... but here Girl is the one who says... actually, I object. I know I was all-in on this two seconds ago, but I changed my mind. Can I do that? The priest / normal-sized-leprechaun, says that yes, she doesn't have to get married if she doesn't want to. Boy 1 is like: Thank god!
   Now Santa and Boy 2 storm in to stop the wedding, and everyone was like, yeah it has already been called off.

   Evil father is like, but we have a contract! And Santa is like: talk to my lawyer, and presents boy 2. Boy 2 finds a legal loophole that voids the contract. Evil dad is like Nooooo! and then girl uses her magic powers to make him trip into cake. Girl kisses boy 2, and boy 1 is like... you know what, you two are cute together, I approve! Santa is like: No kissing before marriage, but do you want to spend the night?

   Then the movie wraps up with about 10 minutes of talk about business and "numbers". Apparently, the giving stuff away business hasn't been as lucrative as you would think. How are they going to keep the business going without an influx of cash from the business deal they just torpedoed? Santa is like, that is a problem, but don't worry your pretty little head about it. Sometimes if you don't think about a problem, it goes away (that was actually the point they sort of made). Also, nostalgia is nice. But not to worry, the tooth fairy is flirting with Santa, and if he were to "merge" with her... wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

   The end!

   This is one of the weirdest movies I have ever watched. Perfect for Riffing.

   Here is my synopsis of the movie:

   So Santa apparently does the whole giving away presents thing as a for-profit business. They are never clear about how they actually make money at this scheme (though it seems to have something to do with slavery).

   Mrs Claus died a while ago, and it has made Santa a ruthless businessman. He has a daughter (the main character of the movie) who he is forcing into an arranged marriage to help grow his business empire. She understandably doesn't want… more

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4. The Moon-Spinners

   The Moon-Spinners is a 1964 American mystery film starring Hayley Mills, Eli Wallach and Peter McEnery in a story about a jewel thief hiding on the island of Crete. Produced by Walt Disney Productions, the film was based upon a 1962 suspense novel by Mary Stewart and was directed by James Neilson. The Moon-Spinners was Mills' fifth of six films for Disney, and featured the legendary silent film actress Pola Negri in her final screen performance.

   Why it should be riffed:
   1. The scenery in Crete is quite lovely.
   2. A teenage Hayley Mills.
   3. Pola Negri’s last performance.
   4. The terrible sexist script.

   The Moon-Spinners is a 1964 American mystery film starring Hayley Mills, Eli Wallach and Peter McEnery in a story about a jewel thief hiding on the island of Crete. Produced by Walt Disney Productions, the film was based upon a 1962 suspense novel by Mary Stewart and was directed by James Neilson. The Moon-Spinners was Mills' fifth of six films for Disney, and featured the legendary silent film actress Pola Negri in her final screen performance.

   Why it should be riffed:
   1. The scenery in Crete is quite lovely.
   2. A teenage Hayley Mills.
   3. Pola Negri’s last performance.
   4.… more

   18 votes

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5. Brightburn

   This anti-Superman Movie about an alien kid found and brought up in Kansas, but without any values, develops his super powers and goes on a killing spree. The problem is: the movie never gives any reasons for his hatred and killing spree! It's like they left half the movie out!

   18 votes

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6. Playmoible Movie

   A Movie about a LEGO rip-off

   18 votes

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7. Audrey Rose

   It's young.....ish Anthony Hopkins saying "Audrey Rose" A LOT in an exorcist ripoff!

   Anthony's daughter dies in a car crash and is reincarnated as the daughter of an NYC couple. Follow him well stalking the family then convincing them that she's actually....sort of possessed.

   18 votes

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8. Bands on the Run (2011)

   A movie that knockoffs a long dead 2009 kids accessory trendy fad. I suspect the creators (if still alive) would feel guilty if they took money for the rights to riff this one.

   Keep in mind that there is an unaddressed corpse in a dumpster in this kids movie.

   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2361155/reference
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTITDiZP1Pk

   18 votes

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9. surviving edged weapons

   A documentary issued to police in the 80's on how to survive edged-based attacks, primarily blades -- with often comical and novel examples.

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10. Maid to Order

    from wikipedia:
    Jessie Montgomery (Ally Sheedy) is a spoiled rich girl in her mid-20s whose hard partying lifestyle and lack of self-respect as well as a lack of respect for others is starting to wear thin on her single father Charles (Tom Skerritt), a wealthy philanthropist, and on her boyfriend Brent (Jason Beghe), who breaks up with her after finally getting frustrated with her immature and self-destructive behavior. When Jessie is arrested for drunk driving and drug possession, she finally pushes Charles beyond his limits. He blames himself, as many years ago his wife died of cancer at a time when Jessie was a small child. Feeling it would help her cope with the death of her mother, Charles seldom laid down the law, often spoiling Jessie. While in the company of family retainer Woodrow (Theodore Wilson), he says the one thing he thought he would never say... he wishes he had never had a daughter. In pops Stella Winston (Beverly D'Angelo), a fairy godmother who has been assigned to the Montgomery family. To keep Jessie from ruining her life, Stella casts a spell "erasing" Jessie's life as it is, as if Charles did never have a daughter. Then she bails Jessie out of jail.

    When Jessie tries to go home, her father doesn't recognize her and claims that he has no daughter. Stella appears and tells her that she's getting what she deserves. She tells Jessie that if she wants to eat and have a place to sleep, she will have to find employment. A college dropout who has never worked a day in her life, Jessie is forced to find work as a live-in maid for an eccentric couple named Starkey (Valerie Perrine and **** Shawn) who got rich by winning the lottery some years back who are trying to make it in the music industry as talent agents.

    Jessie has to interact with the other mansion staff, consisting of former singer-turned-cook Audrey (Merry Clayton), Hispanic servant Maria (Begoña Plaza), and chauffeur Nick (Michael Ontkean), a struggling songwriter. Jessie learns the true meaning of love, friendship, hard work and self-respect. When she chooses the happiness of her new friends over her own, she is rewarded with having her old life returned to her, and being reunited with her father. However, her attitude is now much improved.

    This should be on Rifftrax because...
    it's one of Dick Shawn's last performances
    Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times "found it too easy to anticipate most of the big moments and too hard to believe that Sheedy was really a spoiled, mean-spirited rich bitch."
    
    Ally Sheedy in a maid uniform is hysterical!

    from wikipedia:
    Jessie Montgomery (Ally Sheedy) is a spoiled rich girl in her mid-20s whose hard partying lifestyle and lack of self-respect as well as a lack of respect for others is starting to wear thin on her single father Charles (Tom Skerritt), a wealthy philanthropist, and on her boyfriend Brent (Jason Beghe), who breaks up with her after finally getting frustrated with her immature and self-destructive behavior. When Jessie is arrested for drunk driving and drug possession, she finally pushes Charles beyond his limits. He blames himself, as many years ago his wife died of cancer at a time… more

    18 votes

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11. Blue City

    Blue City
    From Wikipedia:
    Returning to the small Florida town where he grew up, Billy Turner learns that his father has been killed. With little help from the police, Billy will take matters into his own hands and go up against a ruthless local mob in a desperate search to find the killer.
    The film was considered a disappointment by critics upon release.[14][15]

    Nelson's performance was particularly criticized, USA Today saying "Is Judd Nelson the smirkiest actor in current movies, or is he simply getting stereotyped playing overbearing creeps? Either way, you spend `Blue City's' 83 interminable minutes begging to deck him." The LA Daily News said "You haven't seen anything quite so ridiculous as a limp-jawed, dewy-eyed Nelson trying to carry off a tough guy part." "Nelson-.008 charisma rating on the Richter scale-is resolutely unconvincing." (L.A. Herald-Examimer). "It's another step in the slow process of revealing, movie by movie, what dull actors some of the celebrated Brat Pack kids are. Judd Nelson would make a great shopping cart, Sheedy a still life of a cornflower gone to wilt." (San Francisco Chronicle) "(The main character has) a passion as rootless as an Everglades air plant. . . . Though his clothes suggest that he and Don Johnson patronize the same boutique, Mr. Nelson has the looks of someone who's come South on a spring break and overshot Fort Lauderdale." (The New York Times) "The worst major studio film we've seen in recent memory." (Santa Monica Outlook) " Blue City is fictionally set in Florida, but was lensed entirely in California, thus managing to shame the citizenry on one coast and the film making industry on the other, all at the same time." (Daily Variety)[13]

    Why it should be riffed:
    1. Ally Sheedy and Judd Nelson actually have chemistry
    2. However, you root for the bad guys throughout the movie
    3. David Caruso is Ally Sheedy's brother in the film. No, really.

    Blue City
    From Wikipedia:
    Returning to the small Florida town where he grew up, Billy Turner learns that his father has been killed. With little help from the police, Billy will take matters into his own hands and go up against a ruthless local mob in a desperate search to find the killer.
    The film was considered a disappointment by critics upon release.[14][15]

    Nelson's performance was particularly criticized, USA Today saying "Is Judd Nelson the smirkiest actor in current movies, or is he simply getting stereotyped playing overbearing creeps? Either way, you spend `Blue City's' 83 interminable minutes begging to… more

    18 votes

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12. Sound of Horror

    I think the sound of horror would make a great riff. It's a Spanish film about a group of people looking for treasure. I don't know about the Spanish original but the English version literally retains it halfway through from being aincent Roman treasure to Nazi treasure. They uncover petrified eggs in their search one of which rolls away and hatches out a reptilian monster that immediately turns invisible and goes on a killing spree. Plus I do believe it is public domain.

    https://archive.org/details/Lbines-SoundOfHorror1964391-2

    18 votes

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13. Color Out of Space (2020)

    Nicholas Cage is (reportedly) his usual bat **** crazy....
    And ... oh... Tommy Chong.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5073642/reference
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfYAXMwCpk0

    18 votes

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14. Twinkle Nora Rock Me! (1985)

    This will never come to fruition but I can only dream. Deemed one of the worst anime ever created, it's wonky, ugly, confusing and convoluted.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9876344/reference
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuZ_pe5GFLA

    18 votes

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15. Blood Beat

    Why you need to riff this movie:
    1. It has a samurai ghost, which is connected to the mom character for reasons unexplained, making the movie even more nonsensical.
    2. 1983 independent horror movie with actors so stilted and wooden, they make HaYden Christensen look like Orson Wells.
    3. SAMURAI GHOST.

    18 votes

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16. Sudden Impact

    The worst movie out of the five Dirty Harry movies.

    1) It is supposed to partially be a mystery . You know who the killer is about a 1/4 away through the movie.
    2) All the actors, including Eastwood, seem to have been filmed against their will. The acting is stiff with no natural flow.
    3)The movie is full of flubs. There are character errors. Crew and equipment are visible in shots.
    There are plot holes as well.

    18 votes

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17. Mary (2019)

    There's a cohesive plot in here somewhere... I think? The Bermuda Triangle 2? An evil entity that may or may not be a drowned witch (and possibly a siren on the side) torments this family in ways that are baffling and makes little sense? Oh and a possessed kid ofc.

    Mary (2019)

    A family looking to start a charter-boat business buys a ship that holds terrifying secrets once out on isolated waters.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5834854/plotsummary?item=po2817317

    It wasn't that bad, but so much riff potential (plus, ya know, Emily Mortimer <3)

    18 votes

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18. Arnolds Park (2007) AKA Carousel of Revenge

    Dawson's Creek meets revenge thriller/murder mystery set in an amusement park with plenty of beach scenes. Bullies. Rich vs working class conflict. Flashbacks with demented cackling.

    Dumb concept, writing and dialogue. Poorly developed characters. Bad acting. Bad directing. Inanely dramatic. Chock full of cliches.

    Watch the trailer and see if you don't agree that this was made to be riffed.

    Trailer:

    https://youtu.be/YCnpp7KO0Fk

    18 votes

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19. The Greenman (2011)

    This is a great low budget horror film from Pittsburgh. It is so painful to watch it is almost a good time at the laughs for all the WTF moments. I love watching it just to make my life feel better than this movie. Please watch the film if you can find. it's so cringeworthy!!! Ending with endless electricall sounds and smoking a cigarette out of your cheek.

    18 votes

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20. Cyborg 2

    Jack Palance Angelina Jolie and Elias Koteas so bad it's good ****** to JCVD film Cyborg perfection the jokes will write themselves should be available reasonably

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