Hey idiot, if your phony movie posting was supposed to be a not-at-all funny riff on bikers not being able to perform sexually for amazon women campers who become enraged and kill them all in unspeakable ways, that's the exact same formula that I am working on in my current screenplay in development and you have stolen it.
If you don't remove this illegal posting "RIGHT AWAY" I'll have my people sue you.
This is your only warning!
BTW: Flaccid is spelled with two C's ya big dummy!
Movie Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccXaHREoCI8
Besides Jim Sullivan, you also get the funny and still cute Kelli Maroney from the movie "Night of the Comet," which is another fun movie.
Gila, is an enjoyable homage to original "The Giant Gila Monster," and B monster movie lovers everywhere should appreciate the movies' attempt at a 1950's style.
I almost feel guilty for suggesting this as a movie to be riffed.
It's like throwing a small steak into a den of lions.
Oh well...eat hardy boys!
Drake is a corrupt and greedy developer who is illegally dumping toxic waste into the mines around the small town of Clear Sky, causing mosquitoes to mutate into giant beasts that attack and kill anything, including humans. A lawman of the town sheriff, Roy Boone, and his reunited love Sarah Crosby, must put a stop to both the pollution and the bugs. The body counts keep rising, which causes the locals to feel that they have to move out of the city. Crosby and environmental inspector Gordon Perry try to find the origin of the waste, but certain people try to prevent them for doing so due to Drake's evil deeds, which involves some hitmen.
This movie has that small little town in the middle of nowhere, b movie, home made, old fashioned horror sort of feel to it that is perfect for riffing. Skeeter is also fun to enjoy as a stand alone film.
No state-of-the-art CGI, or dazzling special effects to be found here. Nope! None!
" Sweetheart, this movie is the stuff that riffs are made of."
-Humphrey Bogart's lesser known brother Waldo.
With marijuana becoming legal nationwide, could this instead be the remake title of a movie about some friends who after smoking a couple of bongs-o'-weed, turn their apartment upside down in their frantic search for Scooby snacks?
Dr. Henry Heckyl: "Now we're dead, and I'm still a ******. "
Miss Finebum: "Let's face it, we're probably immortal."
Lt. Mack Druck - 'Il Topo': "Why don't you shoot each other and find out."
Mr. Hype: "You get in my way again, squid brain, and you'll wish your mother had strangled you at birth."
Lt. Mack Druck - 'Il Topo': "She tried."
Dr. Henry Heckyl: [scaring away yet another girl] "I could have taken her to a movie. To a Chinese restaurant. To a water bed motel."
"Mine is a face that spoils a sunny day. Luckily I don't need tan"
- Dr. Henry Heckyl:
Dr. Henry Heckyl: "First of all I'm going to give you a shot of zilophob. It will help suppress the pain I'm going to have to put you through."
Lt. Mack Druck - 'Il Topo': "I don't feel pain, I'm a cop."
Lt. Mack Druck - 'Il Topo': "Did he have one red eye, one green eye, hair like it was taken off a Halloween mask, and a nose like a half-eaten carrot?"
Mrs. Quivel: " Yes. He's laying on my bed, making disgusting noises."
Lt. Mack Druck - 'Il Topo': "That's no monster, that's my podiatrist."
Mr. Hype: "I want you to be absolutely honest."
Liza Rowne: "I don't think I've ever tried that."
Once mankind was rid of all feeling and emotions by the alien entity, congress decided to remove that qualification from their candidate-for-congress questionnaire.
The replacement congressman qualification questionnaire asks if you think Adam Sandler movies are funny.
( ) Yes ( ) No ( ) Undecided ( ) Who???
(1956) A well meaning scientist guides an alien monster to Earth from Venus, so that he can rid mankind of feelings and emotions - but only death and sorrow results.
Roger Corman at his best. The creature is very...uh...unique looking.
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Movie Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2efDnLZjsk
"I find it outrageous, and just plain disgusting that someone would suggest taking a perfectly good movie, that everyone has worked so hard to create, and making fun of it.
FYI 'cle1952', we take great pride in our movie making endeavors!"
- Alan Smithee (Famous Movie Director)
Oh my gawd... yesssssss...please do it! Thee best damn idea for comedy in the last fifty years.
Ha ho hee heee yuk yuk titter hooty damn hoot mon heide ho hey nonie nonie gurgle oop heeee hi fo fum guffaw zippy do dah ribbit poop muh pantaloons too da le doo.
"I will make you rich and strong...strong and rich...get me out of here."
Here is a movie trailer for Critters 1-4: https: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNtDNzGy6Jc
As you can see, the Critter movies just get worse with each sequel.
Maybe Riff Critters#4 and work your way to #1 if possible.
When they pitted an Alien vs. a Predator, that revived both movie franchises.
Hey movie writers, why not take a Critter, a Gremlin, a Hobgoblin, a Munchie, and make them wrestlers in a Mexican wrestling match?
You could have ET as the announcer and let these hand puppet luchadores go at it in the ring.
Since it's always good to mix in live actors with hand puppets, you could get Blue Demon, Santo, Black Shadow, and Titan to whoop some hand puppet ***.
What color is hand puppet blood anyway?
Message to all Martians: You've been monitoring our television transmissions for years now, and you still want to invade us?
And you call yourselves a highly evolved, technologically advanced society.
When Martian TV can produce something that even comes close to a "Gilligan's Island" or "My Mother the Car", then we can start talking about invasion, or possibly broadcast rights and syndication.
I just recently broke up with my girlfriend.
If anyone out there has the Cobra Woman's cell phone number, could you please share it with me?
She sounds like the sensitive caring woman of my dreams, and I'm getting tired of all of the on-line dating sites.
Yeah, the ex was good with the terror and death part, but I wanted more...much more in our relationship.
Movie Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbNh6fBX7U0
"She comes to entwine men in her arms. They wanted love. She gave them terror and death."
Sounds like a recipe for a loving marriage to me.
I don't really know when the world ended, but I can tell you that my world ended the day the wife started serving me the previous night's dinner leftovers.
Honeymoon over man!
Most quality writing classes today teach young up-coming writers, that if your plot starts to lose momentum or if your storyline is lacking depth, or if you run out of original ideas, and adding expensive CGI effects still won't be enough to dazzle your viewing audience, just add some Nazis to your screenplay, and everything will then fall into place.
It works every time.
It's obvious why Martian women have all disappeared from their civilization. You don't just abduct women, bring them to your planet for breeding purposes, expect them to cook for you, clean up your Martian man-caves, take care off your little alien children, and everyone knows that there are no decent places to shop on Mars. This is why Earth has women, and you Martian savages don't! LEAVE OUR EARTH WOMEN ALONE IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!
How to Make a Monster: After a hard day at work, before your husband has a chance to sit down, tell him all the "girl gossip" that you heard today, don't fix him a drink, don't rub his feet, don't bring him the newspaper and let him quietly read it in peace, don't have a hot meal made and ready for him to eat. Show him the unusual growth on your big toe. Tell him about the out-of-work handsome young bodybuilder dude across the street who just bought a brand new Porsche.
Full Movie (skip the commercial intro): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP0OvqAjYdc
Hey! What's up with that creepy painting at 5:43 minutes? Wow!