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Never Too Young To Die

I don’t think you can get any better with a movie that has John Stamos, Vanity and Gene Simmons. Stamos is avenging the death of his father, going after a cross-dressing Simmons. There’s a lot of inexplicable action sequences with horrendous dialogue that screams the necessity of Rifftrax jokes. There’s even goofy theme songs for characters in the movie that sound like something done by a bad Pointer Sisters cover band. Simmons has a lot of bad wigs and facial hair disguises in this movie too. I have seen a lot of bad movies, but nothing that has deserved the riffage of Kevin, Mike and Bill

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  • GalaxyJane commented  ·   ·  Flag as inappropriate

    You know how everyone has that one batshit insane bad movie that they inflict on all their (possibly soon to be ex-) best friends. This one is mine. Simmons' band of preapocalyptic (not a typo) goons really help sell the insanity. And you actually realize how good Robert Englund is watching him steal every scene with his mugging in the background. And this while playing beside Gene at his utmost ham and cheeziest!

    "No, not the finger!!!"

  • Mike commented  ·   ·  Flag as inappropriate

    By the way, this was pre-Full House for Stamos, during the Kiss makeup-less era of Simmons, and when Vanity was doing horse loads of crack cocaine.

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